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What have I learned as a gynecologist? Many things. Gynecology
isn't just for dentists who like women. It's for men who enjoy
big-game fishing and bowling-pin setting. It's for ex-
lesbians with bullet scars on their butts.
Them what say there ain't room on the moon are just stick waggers
as the dark side's got the craters to bury 4.8 million **** Jaggers
He wouldn't hurt flies but he's not above those called tick draggers
He's beaten coke, horse & **** but for ***** he can't kick staggers
On ****** Halloween it's scarier to deny treats than to trick raggers
Bullyragged urbanites beware of gay, tobacco-chawin' hick naggers
Kitty'll be a real wheel-barrow prancer to thrill bone-marrow cancer
Peter Lawford, bone Joan Crawford & her paw print & her saw lint
Sore holes're wide & widening like a kind movie with a fine ending
Pervert, revert, invert--give me your lovin' sweet baby doll in your gateway getaway--big nighttime fashion modeling way, oh yeah Mama: yeah!!! I believe that Teresa Teng, Iris Chang, Aaron Russo & Sonny Bono were assassinated. And, sadly, the govt. is involved in human-head transplants. NEVER brain transplants as these are far too complex.
Are your pans chef-tested? My what? Pans. What does that mean? Hey! Climb down off my ***! No, my pans are not tested by chefs. They are non-chef-tested. What about your spatulas? Yes, a chef came 'round yesterday and beat his boyfriend unconscious with a large spatula. Lovers' quarrel. I see. We offer omelets for 5 bucks, no returns, mustard optional. Are you gay? Not anymore. An ex-lesbian forced me to act like a normal chef for once in my life.
A DOZEN MILLION HAITIANS COULD NEVER **** MY DREAM of a paradisiacal Haiti! The grass is greener because of mold control failure. The weeds are weedier than before and chafed lips aren't meant to be necked with, and solids that pass easily make Burger King salads more valuable than a romantic poke to the ****. I loved you 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 the injectable botulism, but you couldn't stop.
"You're not my gynecologist! Where's my regular **** doctor?!" Kim demanded to know. "I'm his colleague, doctor Randy Scanland," the guy informed. "Beat Pest?!" Kim asked. "More like Pete Best," the impostor doctor replied.
Daddy, may we use the BRITISH 405 SYSTEM until mommy returns? No, and mommy ain't never returnin'! Yesterday at 5 o'clock a brick fell on the mayor and he died. His corpse was lifted onto a platform and cannibals were ushered in with forks & platters to recite a Christian psalm that matters. "Tonight, we'll eat the mayor while God watches and approves," the chief cannibal said while accomplishing 10 different bowel movements that Tina Turner saw as new -- bowel feats that made Ike turn dark blue.
The **** was so deep in the ****-house that young Tom Saunders and his boyfriend Toby were compelled to pray to Satan that homosexualism would become so common that normal folks would start "doing it" with such frequent frequency that dams would burst and reservoirs would give way and women with false teeth would move to other countries. "I love you Toby," Tom said as he stroked Toby's long nose and left ankle at the same time.
The dirt was piling high on top of the corpse as was the custom at
an interment while Donny Osmond's music, with guest artist
Jimmy Osmond, played in the background. I almost had an
epileptic seizure but I'm okay now, just a slight headache.
The dirt was piling high on top of the corpse as was the custom at
an interment while Donny Osmond's music, with guest artist
Jimmy Osmond, played in the background. I almost had an
epileptic seizure but I'm okay now, just a slight headache.
The dirt was piling high on top of the corpse as was the custom at
an interment while Donny Osmond's music, with guest artist
Jimmy Osmond, played in the background. I almost had an
epileptic seizure but I'm okay now, just a slight headache.
because I've been dead before and you didn't bury me deep enough. It's colder near the bottom when the grave's a long way down. It's like jelly beans and salmon cake all mixed together with coffee in it. It's better than living without hormone treatments or getting a third neck tattoo. My last grave wasn't very nice because people were always sacrificing chinchillas on it.
The divorce rate for B.D.s (bus drivers) is 102% above the national average. Be patient. Some day a bus driver will win your love & respect.
The divorce rate for B.D.s (bus drivers) is 102% above the national average. Be patient. Some day a bus driver will win your love & respect.
I was thinking
about taffy
when my
teeth
fell
out
People are everywhere, crashing helicopters, feeding spring rolls
to bus drivers, visiting the sisters of Internet chicks. You're
nice. You won't be lonely forever because nobody lives
forever. When poltergeists knock, open a Bible. Too
morose I mustn't be, for a girl who's
a mere decade plus three.
CARROUSEL ***** AND LUNAR-MODULE MAN hopped a
train in Trafford 1 week after being busted flat in Baton Rouge.
"You filthy pig!" Lunar-Module Man spat in total disgust.
"Shut your gob or I'll ream out your **** with a snow
shovel!" Carrousel ***** responded with
brutality in her groggy voice.
I have too few arms for extra hands that I got danglin' off big cliffs,
that betray the anxiety of pulling ends that block holes in hard stiffs
I got too few muscular arms for injured hands that dangle off cliffs,
5 putrefying, worm-eaten, long-past-rigid rigor mortis, lifeless stiffs
"**** a biker, go to jail" applies to roller skaters too. Daddy, can we swing from power lines and go seal hunting with land mines?”*

   *
Why does your car bounce like a ****** when you're speeding through ****** town? My trips through ****** town are no ******'s business. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. That's alright, but if you do it again I'll scratch your eyes out like a ****** I love because I know that you're ******-baiting for fun! You're so beautiful, just like a trip in my neighbor's Passat to Titusville (*** to ***). Since I haven't eaten dog, I just eat what my dog eats. It's a shame that Vietnam is one of the few places where dogs are eaten, given the fact that dogs are delicious. I have the strength, & resolve, of 10 vampires & 27 zombies for real. Kết, not yet...Ma's car's ready @ Ike's. It's 8:38 A.M. here for now. Brave be, brave be me on the Earth's platter of mindful contemplation, standardization, centralization, concentration & synchronization of 8 inches of curvature per mile squared. Yeah, right! ~ This offers hope when I'm seizure blue: “The key word during the gynecologic examination is 'relax'; you may hear it several times. The ****** is a muscular *****, and if the muscles are tense, a difficult and uncomfortable examination is inevitable.” — from p. 248 of  Aging Well by James F. Fries, M.D., 1989
WEB: How much does it cost to put a dog to sleep at the Humane Society? The cost of this service is $30 for a cat and $50 for a dog. Dogs must have a current Butler County Dog License, or one can be purchased for $14.75. Your pet will be euthanized in the most humane way, which is by injection. It is a painless procedure administered by certified technicians.
What's wrong Donna?! A gynecologist grabbed my ****-flap! Where?!
Behind my thigh. No, I mean where at?! Here, around back. No, I
mean in what place? In a clinic? Yes, at the Donna Reed Memorial
****-Flap Clinic. Are you alright? Yes, just a little sore.
Down by the river of witches I dug up the corpse of Lloyd Bridges
He looked unwell as his **** was marked with hemorrhoid  ridges
His grayish brains were small, shriveled, unusable & dry parched
like Martin Luther King's **** cleft after he'd preached & marched
Lloyd loved me much more than he loved turkey for Thanksgiving
before rotting by the putrefying process after he had stopped living
While ******* shouldn't be blamed for the encroaching black blight
those who value their alabaster skin must run for life in white flight
from Nordic Christian countries engaged in N.A.T.O.'s S.A.C. fight
against ancestors of Kaiser Wilhelm's Brandenburger Jerry military,
to enforce common-sense law & not admiralty writs to the contrary
that recreate the slap-stick shenanigans of dead Curly, Moe & Larry
& 19th-century luminaries as popular as anti-**** Alice Ellen Terry
& 20th-century man-slayers less butch than anti-muffler Ellen Terry
who loved The Father of the Steam Navy: Matthew Calbraith Perry
when he wasn't duck-walking like rock spear-chucker Chuck Berry,
whose toilet films of '89 made Christmas '90 for 60 plaintiffs merry
for 10 lifetimes until war erupts in Heaven making Hades less hairy
I feel not oozin' gums & white tongue nor leftward of my right lung
I feel not bleedin' gums & white tongue nor leftward of 1 right lung
I see no bleeding gums & whitish tongue nor left of my 1 right lung
Onto my stump I rub expensive, aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy, mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy, jungle-rot team

Onto my swollen leg stump I rub expensive, aloe vera stump cream
before & after swimmin' in a frigid, North Dakota mountain stream
'cause I don't wanna be on a North Dakotan stumpy, jungle-rot team
Please hospice nurse mercy-killers, don't mercy-**** me by flogging
me with my prosthetical leg, as I am happier to be alive than I seem under a satanic mix Fleetwood & Jagger, there'll be nada to redeem
for oath keepers' fugly ******* who're under sacred oath not to ream
under skies of liberation whereat Jersey sheenies shimmer & gleam
I fear the mumbling, perverted pig, the fake obstetrician Bill Cosby
'cause he'll drug me with Quāāludes just before he rapes & robs me
Being the last to die as is a plan that loving romantics have 'tis true,
especially at the death-bed of a rich uncle who has got bronchial flu
Let's sway gaily under rotting palms while praising Lordly Christus
with hymns & psalms as cultishly-religious claptrap exalts & calms
is an abusive wino who urinated on the moon even though he never went there. One day (technically day #3) Buzz and Nelly shared a romantic interlude on the moon (a movie studio): "Oh Buzzy, you are so muscular," Neil cooed. "Well so are you," Buzz whispered in a manly voice that sounded like it came from the moon or a movie studio.
Bye
Bye
bisexual 1. having the ****** of both sexes. Cf. "ambisexual."   2. hermorphrodite. [Fr. p. 204 of Dorland's Illustrated Medical Dictionary, Twenty-Fifth Edition, © 1974 by W.B. Saunders Company]
You stroked my enormous tumor with love & care
after I fell into a ditch because I didn't see it there
You took my wallet to buy for me an expensive gift
'cause free of the ditch I needed an emotional lift
I will not ever be cured of this upper leg limb limp,
as long as you turn tricks for your big ****** ****
I'll choose a chewy Cuban ****** chaos for chewin' chewy carrots
with Castro's 1959 call for a cruel & cruddy Marxian vegetarianism
that'd be Cuba's revolutionary means to spoil Haitian egalitarianism.
Dogs die at 15, cats too. Elvis died at 42. Many people don't make it. What was his secret? Diet! Elvis loved to eat foods that ensured four-plus decades of life. He was careful not to consume anything that caused premature death, or: death before 42. Everyone knows that Elvis was a night-owl who often gave Cadillacs to everyone. In 1970 a down-on-his-luck ***** begged Elvis for a Cadillac. Elvis told him to be at the Cadillac dealership tomorrow at 2 for a big surprise. The next day the ***** arrived on time to find that the Cadillac dealership had burned down. The ***** was arrested for arson because he had been framed by Elvis.
While chain chunks of brain strain from brain-sprain, I bake pain to
ably **** Cain, who fled to Denmark to turn tricks as a ****** Dane
My girlfriend bent over to pick up my other girlfriend who had fallen into a hole when she was drunk on 10 beers 3 hours ago in my back yard, but I don't care anymore because my girlfriend in the hole isn't as pretty as the other one, not even a little bit. My neighbor with 1 foot can't kick anybody out of anywhere because when he lifts his only remaining foot he falls over into a hole if one's nearby.
Klara nodded suddenly. "What does that mean?" She asked while longish hair blocked full-view of her in-between-leg paradise. "I can't see your *****!" Luke protested because he was a gynecologist with medical interests in vulvae. "There'll be ample time for that later!" Duke exclaimed as Klara's ex-gynecologist. "May we return to our most desperate problem?" Johnson urged. "Of course," doctor Jones added. "Pola, did you bring Suzy's 6 vital x-rays?" Pola quickly produced an official pouch. "Here they are!" Doug loaded the trunk with 3 dead gangsters. "I want to bury them in Sweden!" He announced stupidly. "Sweden?!" Cale Yarborough's cousin exclaimed. "That's 8,000 miles from here across the Atlantic Ocean!"
I must **** trees, miss fleas, kiss cheese & hiss bees like nervously-
nervous nut cases with a neurotic, nerve-racking, miss-ease disease
I will **** trees, miss fleas, hiss bees & kiss cheeses like nervously-
nervous nut jobs with neurotical, nerve-racking, miss-ease diseases
Half way up from the bottom down, left of center, tilted backwards,
is the contorted stance that cripples contortionists lunging forwards
Charles Puffy's jumbled diphtherial litter & rot got him caught cold
& brought to higher authorities who knew old Puffy needn't be shot
I must **** freeze, miss fleas, kiss pleas & sis knees like nervously-
nervous **** aces with a neurotic, verve-backing, mist-fees disease
in prison abuse programs for los Indios maricones of British Belize
where we choke Chinese grocers often for greenish imports of peas
from divine Cathay where Falun Gong worship's a Maoistical tease
for the likes of Planters honey peanut butter franchisee John Cleese
who unites skin-sloughing French sheep with shepherds who fleece
along knee, shoulder & pelvic joints & where pink **** ***** crease
which is alright with ****-flap pervert, the flitty queer Edwin Meese
who seeks gay normality & normal gayety with 32 gym locker keys
that unlock a twilit exo-scientometrical face that God frozenly frees
under the gun like a he/she; as known by goys blown in shot breeze
through statues soiled by pigeons above ½ moon toenails of tweeze
long after the decapitation of 91-year-old screen writer Robert Lees
whose bid to keep head & torso as 1 died like Yukio's Shogun pleas
whose fight to keep his head & frame attached died in ½-assed seas
just like ****** Bruce Jenner showing he's a she by varying degrees
that has his ill family of mule-******* climbing like chimps up trees
that has his donkey-******' family climbin' like apes up jungle trees
where syndicated-business-share-differentials run like a viral sneeze
brought on anaphylactically from the sting of gay Cuban killer bees
I caught what you got: a catchy social malady, a red, twisted nose, a
splintered bone sprain & iliac crest pain from a celiac disease strain
as our fiery Icelandical love derailed your icy Africanical soul train,
new A.P.S. screening for Chinese students made Dutch folks insane
as a homosexy Irish turn would flash a burn with Gay Gaybo Byrne
who worshiped all beans save, of course, the stringy mung, because
1 dead Martin Luther King hung sun bred rotten puker string strung
on *****/spine/pines/Ipsen, as anagrammatically fill words are sung
by Ted Nougat & Steady Nugget, Cud New Ghent, Bed **** Gent,
Freddy Knew Chant, Bad Gnu Jaunt, Red Glue **** or Ted Nugent
Ted often changes his name as a dodge for Earthen-plane espionage
with his squatting-over-a-milk-bucket-trick because his heifer's sick
'cause for you I lie to everybody else: Darryl, Charlie, Keef & ****
& lush Woody, whose affair with ***** made the Small Faces click
while avoidin' having massive holes drilled into his filthy neck Ron
managed to remain not dead to complete his homosexy concert trek
while the 2 flat signs of ratty liver brings on thrills + chills, it's only
after you abuse your flat, ratty liver that a flat, ratty liver rat squeals
squeakier than gay drug store cowboys on patented analgesical pills
washed down in ginger beer, tainted by the gooey guts of harp seals
that were buggered by moon-lying *** wipes, 2 gay Buzzes & Neils Lyrics of a geriatrical age that play epidemiological reflect old Paul McCartney's 1960's albums proving that bold jowl pigs aren't knees
as the 2 symptoms of ratty liver disease clog you with rat droppings
atop promontories, in gullies & beneath Algerian cliff outcroppings
where fleet of feet sheet beat tweet bird **** after we eat Crete meat
states that 1 man must be present or the operation stops. Now I don't know about you, because you're a pervert, but if I don't see a man there I'm cutting off the electricity for 4 hours. Fine. These are my 3 ****-straps: 1 for picnicking, 1 for rifle practice, 1 for taming commies. Alright, fair enough. Roll over and I'll check for gerbils.
In '05 Erik Estrada, standing amidst the grandeur that was “California Pines,” offered $1,000-per-acre lots (as appraised by local govt.) for National Recreational Properties Inc. w/his proclamation: “This is truly an affordable development with prices starting at these incredible prices...” (N.R. Properties Inc. prices started  at $19,900 per lot that measured up to an acre. With generous financing a lot was $46,104.58 by the last monthly payment. There was a 1-time documentation fee of $995).
Gretchen is a dual-headed calico cat with a terrifying cough that my
gay neighbor reduced by 50% simply by lopping her extra head off!
Sparkles is a twin-headed calico cat with a stubborn right-side head
cough that I cut in half simply by hacking her superfluous head off!
“Go ahead, it'll be a blast, but only if you do it fast!” Michelle said.
“Okay,” I replied, while I put a nuclear bomb up Obama's lying ***.
like a Mexican ***** witch whose witchcraft cast a ***** hex free
while a B.B.W. paints red penises on ****-house walls at Walmart &
3 C.S.M.'s die of seizures 'cause Walmart's urinals ain't the cleanest
Man with micro-brain paints giant penises on walls of Walmart and   4 recruits suffer seizures 'cause Walmart customers ain't the leanest
Shady ill-fated, ****-rated, ******-baited Barry Soetoro was the real
president, the real queer president of Sumatra-*******-****-*******
There's a toilet paper shortage in France.
Let's go to Norway.
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