I AM GUIDED BY FIFTY-FIVE ICE-COLD HOT DOGS made by ****** or Satan or Spiro Agnew. I'm torn between a wedding gown and a football helmet. Do I spread it thick or thin? Do I leap off the Empire State Building where it's dangerously high or jump the janitor while he's napping? These are questions that only God may answer.

I cannot deny my unique ***** heritage. Born in jail, my mammy hid me under her mattress for 14 years where I grew long and lean and able to lift a prison bunk with my mind. I was also self-taught to count to twenty, forward and backward. Later, after my appendix burst, I sought the man of my dreams (a New York ****). We would live under a bridge, "the homosexual bridge of love." One day I'll become a Christian and wreck a helicopter or maybe a car and eat pizza with a spoon (just for fun).

Giant mermaid doll - 50 to 100 times bigger than a school bus. Comes with wide wheels and blimp landing gear. I sailed her to the Aleutian Islands and back 4 summers ago with no difficulty while using my wife as a flotation device. Call now to receive 45%-off before Easter (55%-off after Easter).

in an avalanche with artificial monkeys in it. We kissed too soon at your mother's funeral when everyone was watching us. That's why I can never look at a dead crone again with the same lust and desire.