I am here. Whilst you're laughing in your ferris wheel of glamour and glittering lights
Laughter so loud, you brandish names from your garish encrusted adverts. Notice me


In the midst of the battlefields of gargoyles, trolls, copycat thieves and twitter fights
People call you vile names and comment on your growth I was always there. I am here


When you're out dancing with boys sunbathing on yachts and take private cars and flights
As you work your way through a list of names of temporary love affairs. Notice me

Though your follower and disciple count multiplies to great saturated heights
They want details and secrets, they want your undivided attention. I am here.

We didn't create this hateful game just
Notice me! I like everything you do

You can't tell who's real, who you love or trust
Which will expose you and watch? I am here

I exist
Acknowledge me

Realisation of thrilling intimidation
Silenced words and holding looks
The second I gaze up and find your eyes, for those seconds I am stuck in a fragile moment
Not wanting to leave but unable to admit what’s keeping me so transfixed.
Caught by your eyes in something, that I cannot back away from
Stillness of those exhilarating moments
Wishing you would reach out and touch me, lighting this electricity purring through my blood
Too cowardly to act on my own desires, my own wishful fate
I patiently wait.
Wait for a little more secluded occasion, away from fear of opinion or judgment
Enjoying the lost moment and loud vibration,
Drowning out all conversation and surroundings
Unnoticed by others, whilst being unmoved by others
Hoping that my feeling doesn’t go unrequited, but if it were…
We wouldn’t play these games together

I smile and shatter the glass bubble in which we have held ourselves

Alone in the darkness, I carefully tread
Gazing at the leafy roof blossoming
Pearly flickering snowdrops overhead
A lone orchestra that she is forming
Hushed. I stand motionless, tranquil, silent
Glittering petals floating all around
Hear the eloquent song; dusky, violent
Twirling whilst dances to the velvet sound
In the midst of our homely wilderness
Reaching out to this enchanting spirit
I watch her, Illuminating blackness
My tortured soul I again revisit

Chasing is useless. I don't have her heart
We are seamed together and ripped apart.

What is hidden in this lost and strange dream,
Rip your fences down. Find what is lurking.
Surprise of an empty enchanted  scream
The others secrets you've been observing

Terrifying  who or what you might find.
love, hate, lies, truth, life, death,  passion and dull.
Search the buried corners of your mind.
The feeling of emptiness, yet so full.

Don't hate yourself, don't hold on. Let go
Condone, your wicked mind and desire
Try to keep your eyes open. Watch the show
Strike  the match. open your soul. Start the fire!

There is always rain after any drought
I'm  waiting in the shadows. Let me out

Villanelle
Please don’t stop the rain,
On the floor is where I lie
Ready to be hit by the pain

Distorted thoughts go through my brain
Asking questions, wondering why,
Please don’t stop the rain.

Keeps repeating, but I have to break the chain
I keep falling I can’t stop but I try
Please don’t stop the rain.

Pressure on me, slipping closer to the insane
People don’t see these tears, they don’t see me cry
Please don’t stop the rain.

I want to leave because I can’t take this pain
Fly away. Soar. Touch the sky.
Please don’t stop the rain.

As I slip away there is no strain.
On the floor is where I lie,
I am in a euphoric peace, no more pain.
Please don’t stop the rain.