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Jan 21 · 16
We used to live here
Polaris Jan 21
We used to live here.

Behind these memory-soaked doors still dripping with feelings we shut out,
Where the faint smell of lies keeps lingering long after the liars have left.
This is the place we once called home, only to realise we took the wrong turn again.
We've learnt that just because the lights are on doesn't mean we are welcome here,
And it became clear that you can leave your things here, but expect them to leave you too.
As is turns out, reframing is only for thoughts, not for pictures hiding decaying walls.
I wonder when the locks have changed, because no key I ever try seems to fit.
Maybe we stayed because we thought this is the only roof that won't collapse under our past,
After all, we used to live here.
Dec 2020 · 30
To you with this body
Polaris Dec 2020
Don’t hate this body with its curves and hollows
They are snowy mountains and sunlit valleys
Many would adore, for it is life and beauty;
Don’t hate these scars, scattered on you
They mark the trail leading to the great you
An inquisitive path with such wonderful views;
Join the journey, for this body is rooting for you
Oct 2020 · 88
Paper cranes
Polaris Oct 2020
I folded a brave new world out of every-coloured paper
And I sat on its throne like a victorious world-shaper
Little did I know, that my throne would whimper and fall
Under the growing weight of memories and life in its all
Just know, there’s a fine line between shining canvas birds
And rainbow paper crane fires with their flaming hot words
As stories ignite my mind, you’ll see, it takes delicate to fly
But if you’d like to be in this radiant light, you must never cry
Your tears will erase the wild colours and blur the bold edges
And no one will witness the paper birds build gracious bridges
So stay awhile, fold your secrets into painted canvas hearts
In this fragile old world, let’s be masters of paper crane arts
Sep 2020 · 481
September
Polaris Sep 2020
When you sang, the world stopped to listen
And the sun covered you in all its grace
The pavement pulsed with your heartbeat
As if to prove, your lifelines are everywhere

I can give you nothing but the audience
Of me and a million adoring goosebumps
I think I have forgotten about magic, so
I am grateful you brought it back with you
Aug 2020 · 57
Palpitations
Polaris Aug 2020
Waking up with the imprint of your lips on mine,
Yesterday’s lies have drawn shadows on my face
Nightfall holds the door for the kiss of death again,
For I've learnt to welcome these beats like old friends
Aug 2020 · 51
Hourglass
Polaris Aug 2020
Time, you are such a cruel mistress
Flowing, unshaken by terrors
Never looking back at
This world you
Shaped
Thus we
Live and die
Like pieces of sand
Falling into a tidy heap of
Passing thought in an hourglass
Aug 2020 · 51
Heartbeats
Polaris Aug 2020
You told me to give you my voice
The same voice that gave me a choice;
Chords curving into a blanket of love
And intonations that fit me like a glove
A weapon, sharper than a butcher’s knife
Tunes capable of bringing our truths to life;
You don’t get it, my voice is all I ever had
Even my silence tells stories, maybe I’m mad;
If I shall be mad, I would rather be raving
To explain the surrender I am still craving
To let your fingers sound my every string
To borrow my breath when you want to sing
To keep my keys if they guide you to compose
To write with my words, take my poetry and prose;
Should you still wish for my voice after you heard it
I might just think, you adored my melody a bit
Jul 2020 · 57
Everywhere
Polaris Jul 2020
Where does love go, when I can no longer give it to you?
Maybe it hides in my eyes, turn into a mirror to see through
Maybe it lingers in my arms, just the way I would hold you
Maybe it whispers words that settle on my skin like a tattoo


What if it robs me empty, batters me bare, chokes me bitter?
Love, if your new name is pain, I might never know better
Maybe learn to tell honest lies, dream awake and loudly tiptoe
Now that I cannot give it to you, where does all this love go?
Where does grief go?
Jul 2020 · 64
Let it hurt
Polaris Jul 2020
To write about you must be sacrilege, the greatest known sin
Opened, I fear, this gate could not keep vile secrets within
You are the scream in a room, where I was told to be quiet
Detached as I drag the shackled, you’re a boiling prison riot
You are the blood on this crime scene, the smiling murderer
Take this blame, as we wouldn’t admit: I am the real torturer
You are the grip, with little care whether used to hold or suffocate
And I can’t care, knowing without being in control, I might dissipate
You are the shadow, while my soul burns under the all-seeing light
I came here to fight, but I will surrender by you, my harrowing delight
Jun 2020 · 55
Dear Summer
Polaris Jun 2020
You may as well know, you are not my chosen
But I admit, there are perks to not being frozen
Waking up to the sun in your eyes makes sure
That all you see today has a substantial allure
What I do in the shadows is much less exciting
Dreaming of swimming and sunscreen fighting
May I present you with fifty shades of bedsheet?
Yes, I have a tan, you can follow it on spreadsheet
Barbeques are the most fun, what is not to like?
Apart from the omnipresent smoke-in-eyes hike
It is bliss to walk barefoot, even a scientific dream
By the end of day, maybe send an excavation team
A lion’s breath feels apt, I can also sport a mane
If you pull me out of water, and leave me to drain
Dear Summer, I hope you find some consolation
In the fact, that this is my way of a loving narration
Jun 2020 · 407
Another summer
Polaris Jun 2020
If only, from your
Sun of affection, there was
A ray left for me
Jun 2020 · 49
To be real
Polaris Jun 2020
It didn’t take me long to learn how to hide my hurt
The best thing, of course, is not to feel, mind inert
But I was faulty, better displayed on the clearance aisle
Plastered on my face that well-practiced fake smile
To be emotionally unavailable is to win this game; life
Yet there I was, feelings burning hot in me, what a strife
Emotions would surface from the cracks, they said
And they were right, still I left warning signs unread
Like I was trying to prove a point, I became a ‘fix all’
After every wound and burn mark, building another wall
I ran out of space and energy and drive so what’s next?
To give in and lose my stupid feelings, that much I suspect
What if I am meant to be faulty and I was made to feel
If I just care against my will, do I not deserve ever to heal?
Keeping my cards close to my heart is all that was treasured
Now I can’t even walk into a room without my steps measured
Part of me wants to conform, be calculating and to stay quiet
The aim is to be just brains, but my soul craves to be a riot
Maybe for once, if you can excuse me for the lack of appeal
Pretending in this theatre of life, I just want this act to be real
I love theatre but I wish my life resembled less of it
Jun 2020 · 57
Ashes
Polaris Jun 2020
There are no tours to these ruins, and it has no claim to fame
The crumbling walls and empty halls echo society’s shame
No one adores the cracks on the floor left by careless feet
No life here, even grass can’t grow on this decaying concrete
And there’s a library with no words, books written in the sand
Age-old angel statues weep ashes in this hopeless wasteland
The air is frozen still, and I am desperate enough to choke on it
My body collapses, missing pieces like a convincing counterfeit
It is raining diamonds, a dear way to bleed out under pressure
Crumble into dust on a windowsill, undoing is a unit of measure
There are no ruins left here, just the wind carrying tears of angels
In this land of no combustion, our ashes forever remain strangers
Jun 2020 · 64
Homecoming
Polaris Jun 2020
The edges of my changing soles sleep in the worn-down set of 42 stairs
The sound of life echoes on the wall, escaping through all-coloured tears
Tired yellow rails sigh as the tight monkey grip is replaced by a gentle pat
See my childhood playground packing, the circus retired their last acrobat
The stone fragments are still the same, broken to fall into past tales outside
Brushing grass, only the muddy water feels for me as my two worlds collide
The town is loud with gossip, words melting through doors and bicycle racks
Feelings kissed onto the seats of a bus, love comes with burnt on price tags
As if forcing myself into my old skin could fit me into the boxes made for me
I twist me into the shape of your lies, curving around that poem about a tree
You forced the pen out of my hand and told me I’ll always miss the critical hit
But we write your character feeding on our pain, so call yourself a hypocrite
With my culture on my sleeve, ready to take the shots, be a bleeding devotee
Painting with your red hands, know I never betrayed you. You betrayed me!’
Jun 2020 · 48
You
Polaris Jun 2020
You
The time my eyes first met yours, the world stopped moving
Just long enough to feel, there was a point they were proving
And we pretended we didn’t care, yet our actions betrayed us
Buying time we can’t afford, wrapped in all we couldn’t discuss
Unfolding the other’s mind from punchlines, with our bare hands
Yet reality urges, as we keep dreaming about never-made plans
I used to just smile, when people compared themselves to magnets
But now I know, because talking to you is like exploring new planets
When we laugh, it feels like our souls reunited after a long time apart
I never found it so hard to listen to reason, and not to my stupid heart
Still, we hurt each other, and seek shelter in a blanket of our frustration
When we know we could heal instead; but blame it on life’s narration
How many words exist to tell you certainly, definitely, absolutely yes
Yet my letters flatten into lines, and ‘maybe’ is all I seem to possess
No ink stain could contain how grateful I am for the raw wonder of you
And the person I see myself though you, is the image I aim to live up to
I like to think this isn’t in vain, the endless swing of hello and goodbye
Maybe I get to love you in another life; just you, me, and the night sky
This poem was a goodbye
Jun 2020 · 197
Our world
Polaris Jun 2020
Your world, I’ve never been in
In my world, you move like akin

You might be truly terrified of it
Navigating a world with only wit

My world, so blind to your pain
All your attempts were in vain

Living on the outside like a stray
Would’ve been easy to go astray

Yet you kept edging in my world
Fighting all your worries and hurt

You’ve studied us and mimicked
I don’t think you ever finished

In the world that sets you up to fail
You have risen up and you prevail

At the end of this battle, you’ll win
In our world, you’ll always have a place in.
This poem was inspired by an interaction with a deaf person and it is for everyone who feels like an outsider
Jun 2020 · 54
Little Shop of Kisses
Polaris Jun 2020
Welcome to the little shop of kisses, traveller
You won’t be disappointed here, kiss-seeker
We have endless kisses, all unique aftertaste
Your tireless journey to us won’t be a waste
From clumsy first kisses, pecks of encouragement
To a passionate and shameless deep love testament
Kisses stolen from cheeks and left on mouths instead
Caught in the air, left on a note, on a respected hand
The sweet, fresh aroma of a love never before hurt
And subtle notes of affection lost on spoken word
We have the taste of some other, if you want spice
Bitter kiss of goodbye, bite of anger or any kinda vice
Desperate grasp for a fleeting feeling, or one not there
Moreover, salty kisses of what if, add a side dish of unfair
Welcome to the little shop of kisses, traveller
Did you have enough of it yet, you love-dealer?
Jun 2020 · 63
Carved into my skin
Polaris Jun 2020
Carved into my skin are the words you left behind,
There’s blood on your hands; our story is confined.
The sound of your silence, I find myself forgetting;
I scream at your fading silhouette all I’m regretting.
I just miss you so dearly and I am not sure at heart,
If it was you or your memory that tore me apart.
I don’t think I knew the pain deepest inside you,
But even when I tumbled, you knew I wanted to.
Now that you are gone, I am left with your scars,
Carrying the fragments of you until we are stars.
I can’t seem to stop bleeding, letters tainted red;
A book which many thought about, not many said.
Carved into my skin is the hurt that was never mine;
Snow lips stuck on this one and only line: I am fine.
Jun 2020 · 83
A face in the crowd
Polaris Jun 2020
I look at all these people, but I don’t see them through the cloud
I used to know their heart, but now they are faces in the crowd.
Places that I walk past, a rusty bookshop used to mean something,
For a while now they are just floating memories wrapped nothing.
I feel those eyes stretching towards my soul, you tell me you’re proud
But your words are strangers to me and you are just a face in the crowd.
I can’t speak and you won’t listen, I think you remember this game:
Give it a day then leave the place, forget the face, erase the name…
It is strange how the more I think, legs frozen to the bookstore’s floor,
The less you feel familiar. I am starting to doubt I ever knew you at all.
Whichever way I go, I look at faces in the crowd I used to know so well
Maybe this is who we were, are and will be, strangers all over and forever.
Jun 2020 · 56
Since
Polaris Jun 2020
He left and it has been
A million memories since.
I don’t remember how
His tender touch felt like,
But I do remember his grip.
Strange how he claimed
Ownership over my thoughts.
I still hear the shattered trust
Crunching under his feet.
Strangest still, to consider that
No one loved me since.
Jun 2020 · 56
Sobering
Polaris Jun 2020
Sobering. This is the place where question marks turn into exclamations
Where the music used to lift our soul now feels like a foolish mind’s creation
Words uttered in the heat of curiosity are burnt into the back of our tongues
After awe taking our breath away, the air of suspicion is poisoning our lungs
The castles we built from sand and air melted away, nature claimed them back
Colours I forced into my veins ran into each other, staining my heart ***** black
I cannot unsee the sound of pain or touch the taste of justice, this is unheard of
But I guess one’s delirious destruction is deemed fine as long as we call it love
Sobering. What a profound way to bury our truths just to find their empty graves
If my mind is storms, earthquakes and more, I won’t be tamed by making waves
When the mind is sobering, it can be from a substance or from the reality they believed in
Jun 2020 · 96
The day you robbed me
Polaris Jun 2020
The day you robbed me, I expected nothing bad;
I hoped that things would slowly be getting on track.
I was in pain, but I locked it in so I won’t bother,
But kept wondering why you’re good to another.
The day you robbed me, you bruised me in whole;
You hit my body, but my soul hurt way more.
You robbed me of my trust, when you lied,
Then you blamed me for the lies as I cried.
You pushed me until I turned red and white
Before you laughed me off one more time.
You robbed me of my beliefs of good and true
As you shouted false accusations and abuse.
Stripped of my dignity, I stood there shaking;
Your bag was full and mine now had nothing.
You might never say sorry for my hurt body and soul;
After all, I gave you the keys, you think I was a fool.
From the day you robbed me, I expect nothing,
I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I cannot say a thing.
Jun 2020 · 103
Elemental
Polaris Jun 2020
That winter night, someone kissed a million stars
Onto the soft, dark silk of the night sky above,
And as I lay there, body shivering, atoms shaking,
Like pieces of me were eager to return home;
I could arrange the stars into words, and into stories
Of all beings have been, are and becoming…
Yet I was so small and fragile, you could crush me
With the recklessness of your tender embrace,
Your lips were like the fluttering wings of a butterfly,
Starting storms in remote corners of my mind,
And I let your fingers trace the silhouette I longed to
Bury into metaphors and atrocious alliterations;
As if I could just label my flaws and insecurities as art,
Like my missed steps could be musical notes…
I waver at the gates of your soul, waiting for an answer:
Is fire still warm if one has been burnt before?
Jun 2020 · 54
Snap
Polaris Jun 2020
You are in the words dying on the tip of my tongue
If you knew how I cared, would you say that it’s wrong?
There is this messy art, will I ever know, if you like it?
Will your mind draw vivid pictures while I recite it?

Curved letters on a screen, but nothing on the line
Light topics while the clock’s ticking, that is our offline
We are always missing something, never quite certain
Whether I’ll find the piece or we will draw the curtain

Why are you so stubborn, dreamer’s bleeding heart?
Pulling that red string with cold elegance, it’s fine art
They say suffering is profound, but I think it’s stupid
Yet our art is nothing but the beauty of things ruined

I am not sure who you are, your soul is ever-changing
So I fill my memory with life colours as you’re fading
Maybe once, I’ll be strong and walk through that door
Maybe you will come looking, but find me no more
Jun 2020 · 346
Impressions
Polaris Jun 2020
As the sky melted its day-colours into the air,
I watched my fingers press call, barely aware
And in the craving silence, I thought I understood
These walls, drawn to mark the distance for good.
Instead, our walls watched the weeping sunset,
Your words cooking stories on my burning upset
And in your laughter, my tears dried into tales
For a while, pain and shame became foggy details.
Cold ground, but still soaking in the sun’s descent
I don’t know our path but then, you were my friend.
Jun 2020 · 64
Guest
Polaris Jun 2020
I am so sorry
That I could not make you fly;
Rest your feathers now.
Jun 2020 · 60
Blank page
Polaris Jun 2020
Staring at a blank page, somehow still crowded with expectation
Colours bleeding through my shirt to serve as a sort of narration
Words rendered meaningless, floating away like sand between fingers
Actions hurt as long as the spear is in, but their ghost always lingers
What is there to create from this chart of chaos and unrequited pain?
If I pour my heart into rhymes or onto a stage, will that make it profane?
I wake from a nightmare, wondering if I should be truthful or lie in life
And why do they call it ‘blunt’ anyway, when honesty’s sharp as a knife
When I can’t sleep, I think of colours; is it best to use only one or many?
But what is the point of using them all if, they just turn black, can’t see any
I might leave it blank: flawless and empty, like many think I should be
Almost blissful ignorance, never understanding what it means to be free
Jun 2020 · 75
Confessions
Polaris Jun 2020
I have a confession, or more like: so many I wouldn’t dare to tell
Let me start with, it makes me really happy when you are well
Sometimes my eyes rest on the edges of your face for too long
And when you laugh, it echoes in my ears like a beautiful song

Your smile finds a way to curve around my lips and make a home
And your words can colour things that were doomed monochrome
Your light warms the tired but stubborn lines, proof of my existence
And when life calls you far; while I still feel you, there is no distance

I wonder if our truths hibernated, cocooned in the things left unsaid
And this is why what comforts me one day, the next…brings dread
When I look at you, you are sunset, fireflies, a notebook and a boat
I can see the cracks too, but my body’s a vessel, it will keep you afloat

You make me want to build wings out of scraps, using love as a glue
Let words dance off my tongue and curl into verses, like I have a clue
When the world wears you down, my affirmations would dress you up
And I’ll be there to take your pain and fold it into a bird after a blowup

Standing in front of the confused crowd, I think I have missed the cue
Yet I must stay because I have one more confession: I don’t feel you
May 2020 · 52
Love was not
Polaris May 2020
Love was not
trying to chop off my wings with your sharp tongue so they can give you shelter
Love was not
giving me a promise with no mention that I have to lose myself in you to earn it
Love was not
entering me into a race I already lost and turning me into a consolation prize
Love was not
trying me on and throwing me away when I became too warm for the weather
Love was not
pouring water from my cup into yours until yours was full and I was dying of thirst
Love was not
repeating the words until one hits home, and pretending you know the meaning
Love was not
basking in my light and disappearing like a mere shadow when it started dimming
Love was not
carving me into a ladder and still climbing as my steps crumble under your weight
May 2020 · 54
Dance in the rain
Polaris May 2020
That day I got caught in the rain
When I didn’t even try to run away
With raindrops soaking my dress
I saw the world with different lens
I was hoping for bright sunshine
But it seems to me, such is life
If either way, I’m gonna get wet
Meanwhile, I might as well dance
I could waltz with the wind
And tango with the thunder
Cha-cha with the storm clouds
Swing towards the sun at last
Though, when it is time to bow
I’m not the one who stole the show
Painful reminder, it’s not a ball
With no flowers on the ground
If by any means, I will get wet
I still could sing and I still could dance
May 2020 · 51
Not yes
Polaris May 2020
I cannot take your ‘compliment’ if you hurl it at me,
Like a still burning cigarette struggling to break free
It is not flattering, if your intruder eyes tear my clothes
And I say sorry, for my body parts didn’t mean to impose
My silence is not consent, for you to take as you please
My words are not dripped on my lips to put you at ease
Don’t call me love, offending the people you care about;
Implying your love’s so fickle, it dies trying your luck out
I am not your honey; if you want sweet, then try respect
And no, I don’t need to excuse myself for being so direct
Neither will I pretend I’ve been cast to be the clumsy fool
Just to be a cute pawn in this game, under your mighty rule
Don’t follow me around, persistence is not the new black
I am not your prey and no, I don’t care for your feedback
Not yes is also known as 'no'
May 2020 · 64
Old cup
Polaris May 2020
I live in an empty world,
Empty for all its worth.

The people here are not sad or happy
They are just like old cups, all empty.
They talk all day, yet they say nothing
They feel no pain, but they create as if.
No love for anything less than perfect
This is my world, weary and wrecked.
The things in my world cost your time
Mind-numbers here are worth a dime.
There’s always something newer, better
The empty people keep chasing forever.
Here, words often mean nothing at all
The people are waiting for others to fall.
Only destruction in which they all thrive
In this world of no attention or drive.
This is what I see, sitting next to a pop-up
In an antique shop, me the old, empty cup.
May 2020 · 68
Ode to the fallen tree
Polaris May 2020
A tree fell down today, but no one was there to hear it break
So it did not make a sound, afraid to shake the forest awake
But maybe quiet just meant: to collapse in an internal heap
Waiting to find out if its pain is still real if only trees weep
Its roots reaching up to sky like children never before hurt
And drowning in sunshine, who would care to love the dirt?
A tree fell down today, its trunk like a freshly carved obituary
Hoping that in its decay, it will become a dreamed of sanctuary
After the sun cremates the freckled leaves with unforgiving rays
Its dear branches giving shade might now set the world ablaze
A rebellion starting from settling dust, a scream from the muted
Here lies a fallen tree, no one heard but waves can’t be disputed
May 2020 · 61
You are gone
Polaris May 2020
You are gone…but you are everywhere
Your voice still lingers in the late summer air
I catch myself staring at your favourite spot
Still expecting you there…but you are not
I stubbornly hold onto fragments of you
Terrified to lose a blink, the story going askew
The world is a darker place without you in it
Nothing I hate more than you fading bit by bit
You are gone…but you will forever stay
In the way you endlessly cared each day
I will carry your love until the very end
May you rest in peace, my dear friend
May 2020 · 65
For you
Polaris May 2020
Things I couldn’t be for you:
A tune stuck in your head
A hand holding your hand
A smile painted on your face
A memory lost in your grace
A word playing on your fingers
A scent from spring as it lingers
A light shining brighter by your call
A warm breeze softening your fall
A good joke which makes you laugh and cry
A galaxy, unseen by any but your naked eye
A frame, empty for now but full of possibility
A drop in the ocean, some hidden tranquillity
A scoop of strength, helping throughout your day
A love, making this mad world a little bit okay.
Things I am for you:
Fading ink on a poem where I bled my heart for you.
May 2020 · 73
Naked haiku
Polaris May 2020
Your assumptions fit
Like a dress sewn onto me;
So I stay naked.
May 2020 · 75
Day n
Polaris May 2020
I never thought I would miss the messy commotion
The sounds of life to cover me like a healing lotion
Read faces of stories and distant only in our pasts
Being is now monochrome, with edited out contrasts
Tracing a finger through memories of skin and bone
Wondering why my breakfast has a wistful undertone
Maybe it is not that I can’t sleep but I’m never awake
How many times will I crash before I find the brake?
May 2020 · 182
Truly, madly, deeply
Polaris May 2020
I’ve been looking at this picture
Seen it for, it was: a safe structure;
Heart burning, my ****** mortal sin
Longing for a bond I have no place in.
Even the thought of us screams ‘wrong’
Why then, do I wish to be strung along?
You are truly happy, the way you deserve it;
The hurt of forever outside, I’d never admit.

I imagine waking up to your husky voice
Instead I sip your image, Hobson’s choice.
Almost wishing you were meaner, sleazier
To make not caring about you a bit easier.
I’m left with your few words, forever held dear;
Gone, but your laughter’s still ringing in my ear.
My mind knows that my heart should not feel
This foreign connection but oh, so familiar pain.

My eyes wander back to that picture in vain
That love, I know is anything but mundane:
In another life, could’ve been mine to pursue;
In this, I am truly, madly, deeply…happy for you.
May 2020 · 185
Mug-nificent
Polaris May 2020
I said I did not need a mug. And yet there you were,
Blinking wonder at me from a quiet shop window.
Your swirls and curves creating a tantrum of a storm
Which, I did not know then, would almost wreck my boat.
You were too delicate – said reason and I, heavy-handed.
Yet I imagined sipping warmth from your deepest corners.
One day, I found myself admiring the rough edges of you,
And I held you all the way home, feeling the richest of all.
No matter all the times I caught my finger on that chip,
You were my favourite, got on with the kettle and sink.
I missed it when you didn’t whisper stories about leaves,
And perhaps you missed it too when I couldn’t hold you;
But nothing compared to when you slipped out and away.
You may forgive me if I tell you that I got mugged again.
Part of me was relieved to bleed on your shattered pieces
Because now, I wasn’t the only broken thing in the room.
I knew better from breaking mugs than to try to mend you,
So I just sat there for a while, sweeping my pieces as I cried.
Then I dug my fingers into your sharp edges just to touch you.
Instead of the kettle, my blood was boiling in breathless rage,
And the only thing sinking was my soul, having you no more.
Flooding of feelings, I just couldn’t let your storm take me,
So I cleaned the mess we both made, this is not a crime scene.
I took the fragments of you, my fingers tracing what we were;
I put them on the wall, like a mosaic of stories of the broken.
Letting the sunshine warm your swirls and tame your seas,
Sitting under your shape, for now I drink from a plastic cup.
I know with broken things you either mend or you leave,
But I hope that for this once, you, being a mug of any kind
Or being art, fragments of the stories of us, I hope you stay.
Because I think we could still be the broken and mug-nificent.
May 2020 · 201
Missed call
Polaris May 2020
Welcome to voicemail.
The person you are trying to call is currently unavailable
Emotionally.
The person you are trying to call is currently busy
Making excuses.
Try calling again
Never.
Leave your name
Forgotten.
May 2020 · 182
Friend like that
Polaris May 2020
You ask me why I worry and I just say, because I am a friend like that
Hard truths turn into song verses in my mouth, being a friend like that
Pushing you onto unfinished roads, who would want a friend like that?
Walking through the gates of your pain as an uninvited friend like that
Soft ivy arms ready to curl into hugs, you should treat my friend like that
Telling my demons bedtime stories, I think I just stayed a friend like that
My lips and hands folding into weapons, no one hurts my friend like that
Watching you rob me of my secrets and letting you, being a friend like that
Holding the noose made from your lies, I wear it as I am a friend like that
I keep running into closed doors, glass walls; you let me, being a friend like that
May 2020 · 368
Exhale
Polaris May 2020
Feelings flooding every corner of my mind
It’s impossible to explain, they are one of a kind
Here I am, powerless against the turbulent tide
Stripping me bare with just darkness to guide
No ease to this pain but never-ending numbness
Filled with secrets so sinister I can never confess
Doomed to search for that sweet substance
In a mad mind that voted no confidence
So many important things left unsaid
And countless feelings never expressed
Craving clarity that is beyond my reach
A code of conduct I could never breach

— The End —