i had undoubtedly loved you, unlike the way i had loved myself. i had given you parts of myself which were unrecognizable to me. i had breathed life into your heart, and soul into your mind. you left me unattended and i was always anxious for you. unbelievably, i had fallen in love with you, somehow. i questioned my form of love, unexpected, and not deserved. i always wondered upon the idea of love, whether it was a myth, or something only few are so privileged to find. becoming anxious with loving you, i began to hate myself. i began to worry about the person i was, and the person i would be. the way i loved you, i believe it was only a tiny amount that belonged to you. perhaps i had fallen in love with the idea that i was able to love even after so much pain was inflicted upon me. as if i were capable of something so good, yet so dangerous. this idea of unconditional love poisons your state of mind entirely, leaving you to always question yourself. my mind continues to whisper to me, "love is false", and though i was reluctant to believe such a thing, my mind is convinced that it is true. love does not exist beyond my capability, and no one will ever be able to love me fully. and this breaks me, as i am so in love with the idea of human love, but knowingly enough, i must accept my fate. no love will ever exist for the mess that i am inside.

your words are as empty as the craters of the moon.

barren and desolate.

your shine, only reflecting off of what truly is.

who are you?
why do you like to hurt me?

please,
no more,
my heart yearns,
drained of its blood.

i am now the emptiness of space, holding you up, and you ignorantly continuing to shine light that does not belong to you.

we need space.

what is space?
the space in which i reside in.

the space in which the world exists.

space, the universe.

space is where the star collides.

space is where there is you and i.
unity of time.

love doesn't cost anything
but a penny, a nickel, and a quarter.

a lucky penny, breaking the odds of rigid reality.

the nickel i found near your bed, after making love to you.

and a quarter, because all it took to fall in love with you was the first fourth of a second you held my hand.

i loved you so much, i didn’t realize i had forgotten what it felt to love myself.

you once told me you would care for me,
and hold me close to your heart.
you also told me that you would love me,
like a painter loves his art.
i was careless and foolish, and fell for such pleasures.
slightly unsure of all the unmistakable measures.
clearly, you were lustful and unsatisfied with whom i was;
your true colours, they showed, eventually, through fuss.
we fought, and we fought; i cried, and i wept.
it never mattered to you, and so you snored and you slept.
i felt alone, and i felt unsure,
but my love for you continued to grow.
a flower blossomed within my heart,
but sadly only my tears kept it alive.
within days, the flower slowly wilted;
i felt my life, it kind of shifted.
from seeing the sun when i held your hand,
to feeling a storm destroying my land.
i felt its presence cry out to me,
that my love was pure,
but yours was a poisonous tea.
waiting to slither down my throat, until it reaches my heart,
where it targets every inch and every part.
you truly deflowered what was once so beautiful,
but how can i blame you, when i was the one with the illusion.

I was in love,
it was first sight.
I was in love,
it felt so right.
I fell for him,
I placed him above.
I fell for him,
nothing but love.
He made me feel,
all these emotions.
Swift feet,
sudden notions.
Words like sugar,
hands so strong.
Eyes like honey,
could it be wrong?
He had sung lullabies,
soft words spoken.
He had sung poetry,
humble yet broken
Baby love, why are you so down?
Baby love, let me hold you now.
I was in love,
but it was all a dream.
Soon enough,
we had reached the seam.
Calls went unanswered,
texts left unspoken.
The days became colder,
I became more broken.
He said, I love you,
he said it to me.
One day, I opened my eyes,
to an empty space, nothing to see.

ideal eyes paralyze my body
scornful lies make me realize my sin
tearful cries stream down the river
unforgettable ties finally break ends.

bright lights constantly blur your vision
loud sounds and blaring music drugging your state of mind
the gleam of the slots' golden rail catching your attention
you stalk towards the empty machine, envisioning the stash in your hand
the pleasure that you are bound to receive
all yours
only yours
however, there is a catch to luxury, as there is a catch to everything in life.
it is venom, a venom that becomes so addictive it is impossible to interpret when you have trespassed its boundaries
careful where you step
careful how far you go
careful where you place your hands
careful where your money goes.

a large body of water
is what they typically refer an ocean to.
a large body of water that has diversions and sections
that leads to somewhere,
as much as it leads to nowhere.
a home to the sea kind,
a home to the beasts.
a home where treasures rests,
and whatever realities we seek.

you are so young, yet you crave the body of many goddesses.
you expect them to be at your feet, to fan away your worries.
you sit in your throne, and leave your mouth ajar, in order for the delicate fingers to intricately place the grapes on your hungry tongue.
you stare gawkingly at all the beauty the goddesses behold, thirsty for their warm, rich skin
you crave the pleasure you imagine they could provide to you
you crave their soft, melodic moans, that are sweet music to your ears
you crave that touch only the highest power could gift to you
you, constantly wanting more, don't recognize the true potential of a goddess
you, constantly trying to please what lies between your legs and the rest of the world, don't recognize their intelligence, and their wiseness beyond their years
you are not worth the goddess, or any goddess
you are hungry
you are thirsty
you are desperate
and desperation only leads to loneliness, you ******* fool.

I have always been taught to stand by my word, and I shall be respected.
I have always been taught to raise my voice, and I shall be heard.
I have always been taught to be courageous, and people will step aside.
and in my life,
I have followed these wise words spoken to me by many.
however, life is not so simple.

you may stand by your word, but a crowd will come and tear it down like a gigantic drape, covering the deserted stage.

you may raise your voice, but people will easily yell at you in vain, shattering your words into tiny shards of glass, no longer having any reflection but the single twinkle of light, that dies off with a shadow.

you may be courageous, but obstacles and challenges come into existence, barricading you from reaching the other end; there is no escape from such hell, leaving you to burn within the fire.

this is the pain that drunkens my heart with sorrow

this is the pain that drags my body across dry terrain, with heavy drought

this is the pain that
I have endured,
am enduring,
and will endure
for the rest of my ******* life.

Let me explore your body, you whispered into my ear.
Let me hold your hand, your fingertips appointed.
Let me love you, your heart poured out.
And so I let you in, into my Wonderland.
I led you, with all willingness, through my gardens.
I led you, with all my effort, through the highest mountains.
I took your hand, and held you close, through the darkest alleys.
And yet,
And yet...
Here I am
Alone
As I had warned myself so many times before.
With so many faces to prove such facts
with so many words to make it real
I love too much
I hold too close
but,
who's willing to fall for me?

One night I sat at my window,
it was way past midnight,
for the moon was high above the clouds,
slightly peaking behind the foggy glaze.

Though people find no beauty in a cloudy night,
I feel all of peace come to me at once.
The light of the moon wash through me,
fill in my every crater,
fill in my every pain,
fill in my every sorrow.

As I allowed the moon to shower me with her luminescent light,
I began to feel the slight trickle of rain,
dripping from the heavens, and landing into the palm of my hand.

However, I was no longer focused on the trickling rain, but the beautiful movement of the clouds...
They were no longer blanketing the moon; in fact, they were tracing her beautiful outline, but in such rushed motion, that I couldn't come to comprehend.
I felt as if I were being taken away by waves of dark blue, pushed deeper and deeper into the sea, nothing to hold me, but the cold sand at the bottom of the ocean.
The clouds, slowly releasing her light, allowed me to see the moon, in its full glory.
And there was no more cloud to cover her beauty, I saw her, as she was.
And there was no more cloud, to say that there was ever rain.
For the trickling rain that slid into my palm, was a puddle of my tears.

I only know so much of what lies beyond the earth's surface.
I know that there is a beautiful moon only so far away we can see it perfectly;  
a golden sun that lies right in the centre of it all, keeping it warm;
and the stars, the infinite amount of stars that continue to shock me out of breath with their delicate, bright beauty.
I only so much of a four letter word that evolves within a human.
I know people feel it once they look into another's eyes and see the whole world;
the lengthy embraces that provide a serenity and a warmth, proving that we need them;
and the infinite amount of kisses blessed upon the soft surface of two lips, this is when both worlds collide, and two become one.
You are like the moon; beautiful, yet distant, but bright.
You are like the sun; warm, strong, and courageous.
You are like the stars; an infinite twinkle in my life that I dare not desire to lose.

It is not that I am trapped in water...
Sinking to the bottom, where the Titanic lays.

No,
I am drowning in my own thoughts; my own fears.

A boat may have enough lifejackets to save the many innocent people;
I, on the other hand, wouldn't want these thoughts treated carefully.

In fact, my thoughts and fears are not welcome passengers in my mind,
They are, however, the anchor weighing me down.

without oxygen, we cannot breathe.
without light, it is dark.
without direction, we walk where?
we continue walking wherever we feel the need to.

I feel the need to walk somewhere,



but I do not know the final destination.

I do not specifically need a title,
to write this poem.
for a name is not giving it any significance,
it is the story that reveals both left and right.
it is the natural balance of words between each phrase.
it is the formation of a paragraph, telling you the story.
it is everything under the title, that gives the reader answers.
it is the story that gives the title significance.

I've fallen,
fallen away into the leaves blanketing the forest floor.
I've fallen,
fallen down the rabbit hole.
I've fallen,
fallen in the midst of thought.
I've fallen,
fallen for his arms.
fallen for his gleam.
fallen for his danger.
I've fallen.

I am emotionally broken
And emotionally put together.

Physically broken and,
Physically put together

I am full of rain and cloud, storming through me, creating a storm that ends only on the sunny days that the flowers grow and I am a garden, waiting for more growth.

I am emotionally broken through the words that have pierced through my mind.
I am emotionally put together by the hands catching me at the bottom of an endless pit.
I am physically broken through the hits I've felt from strangers.
And physically put together by my own words that I've repeated over and over,
Having no other choice but to listen to myself.

Dear reader,
I am not informed of who you are, but I am writing you this with words from my heart.
   I once was alone and I had no one on my side; I had no one to turn to. So I turned on myself. Moon after sun, sun after moon, I wept near my window sill, unaware of the warmth beneath my sheet. Just as flowers blossom during the spring, my soul wilted through all. I had imprisoned my own self within my pain and words of neglect.
   However, just as I am writing this letter to you, someone sent me one too. And they made me realize that the sun, the moon and the flowers, they all had such beauty yet because I was closed in with sorrow, I never realized them. I didn't open my eyes to beauty provided regardless.
   Now, I tell you stranger; don't close your eyes to beauty that colours your soul. Let your mouth take in the air, let it burn your lungs. Feel your cheeks warm to the sun, and your feet glowing from the moon.
   For you are a work of beauty


          - Anonymous

The word alone broken down
Would be
A
Lone.

Someone figuring out the world on their
Own.

This may seem unappealing to some, but
Craving to others.

The state of being alone, it is nothing bad

You just need time to figure out
The map, on where to go next,

But remember this,

Your journey never finishes.

i sit here, writing this with love,

for i know, they're watching me from above.

i am here to announce the day of the red,

flowers upon flowers strewn on thy bed.


only i wonder, is it fair,

to be alone on such a day

of despair?

oh no, i mean no harm!

i understand you're in love,

it's just,

i fell under no charm.

i guess it takes some time for others,

to find the one, and become 'each others'.

but here, i sit, alone

writing this,

with nothing but my own.

there is a study,
for the way we interact,
the way we behave

and the way we speak.

however,
no one will understand
how I interact,

for I am just here.

I simply exist,
I follow prerequisites.

I am under the law.

Product of society.

i se(e) everythi-ng in an odd way

i s(e)e every(thin)g flipped ar(ou)nd

am i to s(ay) i am l(ost)?

or am i on(ly) discover(ing) who i really fo(un)d?

As I awake from my slumber

My eyes, filled with tears,

I realize, I haven't slept, yet I've dreamt.

Dreamt of a land, which let's me escape,

Brings me hope, from the wrath of today.

I want to escape, get out of today,

I want to be happy,

I want to be free.

Should I say that I'm in love?
For only one with the warmest heart knows
That love is a beautiful sin.

It gives pleasure, and joy
Warmth, and happiness.

However, when torn apart,
It creates a raging, endless storm,
Which causes madness across our land.

Be careful who you love,
For not everyone will bring you that sensational warmth.

In fact, bring an umbrella,
Just in case.

She held a rose,
Between her fingers.
Paying no attention to the pain
Which the thorns caused.
She carressed the rose,
Recognizing its beauty,
Yet unaware of the pain it caused her to
Feel.
She held a rose,
Until her fingers were smudged red,
With her own petals' ink.
Spreading through her hand,
She realized,
That pain is not felt until suddenly seen.