Ode to a Poet(writer)
I know you,
All alone
4am is when you feel most at home.
I feel you,
Blank page, full pen,
I see you,
Looking at a page waiting for a tale to unfold,
Behold!
When it starts, it flows,
I am you,
Hiding away, writing my pain,
Escaping reality,
Day to day,
We are art,
In the way we move,
We are the dreamer's and believer's
Pad and pen in hand til our dreams come true.
C. Tyler

Don't judge me by my looks
And don't read me by the books
I am brash and I am kind
I am hard to define
I am bold. I am shy
I am grounded, but I fly
I love, and I give
I cradle, I forgive
Though soft I may feel
I am thunder, I am steel
I am smiles and I am laughter
I am happily ever after
I am tears and I am ache
I am a mess when I break
I hold tightly, but I know
When it's time to let go
I am dove, I am hawk
I am the rose and the rock
I am rain. I am sun
I am I. I am woman



Thank you all so much **

"Amber, you're ugly."
"I know, Mom."
Please stop reminding me.

"Amber, you're fat."
"I know, Dad."
Can't you see I'm trying to be skinny?

"Amber, what is that on your wrist?"
"Nothing, Mom."
You wouldn't care even if I told you the truth.

"Amber, you only hurt yourself to get attention."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
No, I'm not trying to get anyone's attention.

"Amber, you are so pathetic and lazy."
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry."
I'm trying to please you by doing what you want me to.

"Your only here becuase your mother ***** me."
"You have already told me that, Dad."
I'm sorry I'm here.

"Don't call me your mother."
"Yes, Ma'am."
I always knew you hated me, but don't worry, I hate myself too.

"Why are you even here?"
"Becuase of Mother."
I honestly don't know becuase I should be dead.

Caressing, laughing  
Cause you felt the stars
in her galaxy

Loving, smiling
Cause you felt your heart
twinkle with happiness

Lonely melodies
Cause you felt empty
without his touch

Sharing, posting
Cause you felt inclined
to open up

Crying, hating
Cause you felt your heart
broken into pieces

Doping, puffing
Cause you felt the urge
to numb your pain

Crawling, running
Cause you felt the need
to move  forward

Hoping, praying
Cause you felt God
Pulling you closer

i'll never think of you as 'the one that got away'.
i stayed.
i stood by your side.
you're the one that let go of my hand.

We shared our organs in the space of one body, one mind, one soul;
I kept yours dear,
Made sure to
Squeeze a piece of me a bit closer to make room
For you -
All of the credits were to you
This physical need to be near
To struggle and push, to not give in to fear
And all of the time I spent saddened to see
The old me go
Left you.
It left you on a lawn of stray twigs
Searching for the old me
The one that you devoured
No,
I didn't spoil and I wasn't savored.
You wiped your hands and mouth clean so easily and I
Well, I made a liar out of you.

The pressure behind my eyes swells
Like the tide under a full moon.
Waves crack against my rocky shores
And shatter over me.
Shards wash away
But most stay lodged in my bleeding heart.

And I love you anyway.
I love you despite your inconsistency
and insensitivity.
I love you even though
I can't stand too close
Without feeling worthless.
I love you even though
You're radioactive.

I love you despite the fact that you never
Held me the way I needed you to.
You were never there
The way I was there for you.
When I needed you the most,
You looked into my crying eyes
And walked away.
But I love you anyway.

I needed you a lot
And maybe I was too clingy.
But maybe i wouldn't have held
Onto you so tightly
If I could be sure you would be there
When I reached for you.

You always knew
That I would drop anything
And everything to be there for you.
But you never gave me that security.
Still, I love you

I love you even though
I can't be sure of
Who you are anymore.
You used to show me how you felt
You used to let me know.
But you've become so robotic
I'm not sure you feel a thing anymore.
And I love you.

You used to smile
You used to laugh
Now your eyes are empty
Except for racing calculations.
Always thinking
Never feeling.

You're barely human anymore,
Just a machine
That won't stop spewing
And fixing things that aren't broken.
Yet, I love you.

And you wonder why
Your friends are gone
You wonder why you feel so alone.
You won't reach anyone
Where they need to be felt.

And I love more than anything.
I love you like I might die tomorrow.
I love you even though you don't love me anymore.
I love you even though you broke promises you never made.
I love you even though you don't deserve my love anymore.