i have learned & i have forgotten. these tired, spent eyes incinerate as i lean towards the sun.
spoke to my biological mother this month
first time in thirteen years - I'm desperate
my grandma was my mom. the only person I have ever cared about- other than myself
but she's dead. now i truly understand the word *alone.
don't mistake my words as cold-hearted
i have never had anyone to reach out to ..and that's okay. life brings what it brings, day after day after day
grandma, it's your pride and joy; if only you knew how much that embarrassed me.. i miss you more than earthly words can describe. this loneliness has an entire new meaning, stalked by the abandon of your ever-so sincere eyes. my long lived, over-spent problems now weigh heaviest in the absence of your smile.
may death be exactly as you believed. i really ******' hope i got it all wrong.