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Dec 2014
i have learned &
i have forgotten.
these tired, spent eyes
incinerate as i lean
towards the sun.

spoke to
my
biological mother
this month

first
time in
thirteen years - I'm desperate

my grandma was my mom.
the only person
I have ever
cared about-
other than myself

but she's dead.
now i truly understand
the word *alone.


don't mistake my words as cold-hearted

i have never had anyone to reach out to
..and that's okay.
life brings what it brings, day after day after day

grandma, it's your pride and joy;
if only you knew how much that
embarrassed me..
i miss you more than earthly words can describe.
this loneliness has an entire new meaning,
stalked by the abandon
of your ever-so sincere eyes.
my long lived, over-spent problems now weigh heaviest in the absence of your smile.


may death be exactly as you believed.
i really ******' hope i got it all wrong.
© Shang

for Susan Grace
Shang
Written by
Shang  26/M/north carolina
(26/M/north carolina)   
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