in two weeks it'll be thanksgiving and then it'll be the Sunday you broke up with me and I thought that by now I'd be okay but I still remember the bathroom stall I was sitting in the Monday after crying my eyes out because my mother insisted that I get out of bed and go do something so I could feel better and I remember being with my entire family and crying for an hour straight and my cousin coming outside and carrying me in because I couldn't even stand on my own two feet anf I couldn't stop vomiting your lies and your promises so he needed to get me to the bathroom and I remember when i finally was able to get out of bed and go to school and my grades plummeted and my teachers thought that I was just another lazy student that shakes a little too much and who leaves for the bathroom a little too often and who always comes back with bloodshot eyes and mascara on my neck because I was sitting there crying and I thought I had gotten every black speck off but I never did and I thought that I hid everything so well but then I remember when you called me in January drunk and told me you missed me and I rememberchoking back the tears and sayingthat I don't love you anymore but I think you could tell that you completely ripped up the floorboards in my heart and that I'm not going to get better for awhile and now I'm terrified because you were right and I'm still stubbing my toes on the nails sticking out the ground and I'm still getting splitters in my feet from the rotting wood and I'm still not okay.