How come the world is good
when I am dumb as a plank of wood
worried that women are smiling at me
I'll run and hide up a big oak tree
some help my pals they push me on
"Make a move before she's gone!"
no I'll hide and pretend I am dead
or suddenly in a coma instead
all this girl stuff leaves me perplexed
I know they are sort of a different ***
nicer shape and not quite so hairy
though some back in Wales are really scary
it's not like I am truly fussed
for a perfect figure? a shapely bust?
no, find me a woman with spirit and love
like she fell off a cloud from up above
or grew in a glade in the great greenwood
she can banish my fears with her powers of good
she can bully and laugh and kick my ***
though the best of my friends she'll have to pass
but I guess if she can withstand both of those
she'll have earned her right to hold me close