I wanna, I say, naively but sweetly soft;
never knowing quite what I want.
I want to know, no, need to know
but until then I can only know
that's it's not what I've been told.

I wanna know but can only think,
because who knows? I've never been
in love. (For shame,
have I admitted this aloud?)
Embarrassment, knowing I have been alone-
Comfort, knowing I'm not alone in that.

I wanna, I say, sweetly but naively firm,
resist what I've been told to
want. I want but am too afraid to
act wants out. In theory though,
all facts aside, I think about this
all the time. I can’t help but wanna boy.

I wanna boy who talks deep,
in thoughts, but I mean voice-
in an octave way down from his depths;
it will tickle and itch me
even when we don’t touch.

I wanna boy whose skin is rough
in any way: imperfect
(well, perfect for me.)
From too much hair, sun or genes
maybe- just aching to touch.

I wanna boy whose eyes dart
quick, but blink slow.
Eyes’ lashes and brows heavy like
lips forming a message.
They will wink at me, naturally.

I wanna boy who knows his way
¬¬around a library, but will still let me
find his book. I want him to know
everything, but not feel like saying it.
(unless I want to know).

I wanna boy who makes quiet noise,
rustling, during a film or lecture.
He will pay attention, but not
get annoyed when I can't anymore
and rub my back till it's over.

I wanna boy who will ask, whisper,
If it’s awkward to help someone
who looks like they need help?
And then will go with me to do it
After we both decided it was.

I wanna boy who likes New England Winters
And Summers and Springs and Falls;
who pictures the perfect beach with grey sky,
rocks, seaweed and waves;
or at least involving salt water.

I wanna boy who doesn't say sorry to me
for swearing, because he doesn't often.
I want him to know I like the F word
and say it at the right times. (Or at
the wrong times, then give me that look.)

I wanna boy who will make me do my homework
but make me feel better afterwards
if I don't. At the time though, bribe me with
positive incentives of the future and his love
(laughing, we know his love wouldn’t stop).

I wanna boy who will hate romantic comedies
because of how they portray
men, relationships, and women.
I will say the same list opposite.
And we will deconstruct misogyny.

I wanna boy who fits with me perfectly
makes me feel quite loved and pretty.
Bites me soft in nice places and
other things concerning mouths
concerning other places.

I wanna, most necessary,
boy who is something I can’t
imagine. All too real, he’ll
make my heart beat faster,
and my tummy feel scrambled
(but make sure to rub it after.)