Once I was a thin boy
But now I am obese
I used to have a six pack
It’s now a tub of grease.

I used to run like water
And jump just like a flea
But now I’m old and shorter
And the fleas just jump on me.

In my eyes a youthful glint,
My teeth were pearly white.
Now I have a nervous squint
And my teeth come out at night.

I used to look like Elvis
And dance like Fred Astaire.
Now I’ve got a dicky pelvis
And very little hair!

Once the girls all loved me
They’d chase me day and night
But now I’m old and ugly
And the girls have all took flight.