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Oct 2014
You see I've been through a lot, I've been through ups and downs, and I've been stuck on a merry go round. I've jumped off the swing to high, I've fell down and hurt my knee, I even once fell and lost my two front teeth. I remember crying in the school bathrooms when someone made fun of me for not being able to read the book we were reading in class. I remember slapping myself in the face for saying something stupid, I remember my own flesh and blood pushing me around because he thought it was funny to see me on the ground crying and bleeding. I once jumped off a tree a hit my head, I got up to my best friends laugh ringing in my ear, I also remember crying at the look of blood in my hands. I remember crying day and night when my sister would pull my self esteem right out of my pocket and throw it to the ground. You see I've been through Hell and back. I've broke a few hearts, I've left and caused some scars, I've taught boys lessons, and I've ran from begging hands till my feet hurt. I've had my fair share of hand prints on my wrist from lust but I've kicked and screamed my way out. It's crazy to think how many people forget what they've done to you, I haven't forgotten. I still have the bruises and wounds. I still seek for help when I'm all alone at night. I still desire to be held by my mother when I'm kicking and screaming during a night terror. I still want my teachers to smile and be so proud when I finally can say the 6 letter words completely through and through. Even through all of this is hard to think about, I now laugh at all my scars, bruises and wounds. Because the pain level from when I was 1 to when I was 15 was 9 in my eyes. All the heart breaks and broken bones never seemed to truly heal, all then nights and days I thought about the good and bad, weighing my options on one single thought.  I still close my eyes and watch as my life passes me by.
I'm just lucky I have someone holding my hand and tracing my scars, glad that they are over. You can't fix your past, but someone can make you forget about it. At least for awhile.
Hannah Mae -Nickelle Jo
Written by
Hannah Mae -Nickelle Jo  Indiana
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