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Oct 2014
it made my heart hurt, those words. It's a wednesday, it's 11:47pm and i'm still thinking about you. i'm thinking about you the same way i thought about you at 11:47pm and 11:57pm the night you first kissed me.
"when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, ya know? You snap back to being important to each other because you still are."
well you are. you're still so ******* important. and i'm sorry, i'm so ******* sorry. You're not like anyone else i've ever met, you make ****** weather seem happy. About 5 months ago every time it'd rain you'd pick me up and take my to drive in the rain. I don't know if you knew i loved the rain, or knew i loved your company. either way, it was the best few weeks of my life. but look it's exactly 23 weeks later and you're all i can think about when i'm in the loneliest place i've ever been.
please i miss you
It was August 31st at 3:05pm.. it was your moms birthday. I remember how hard my heart starting beating then.
I wrote a note two weeks before i left for college, i wrote to myself about how i could be falling for someone who hated me. I know you don't hate me, but i feel like you could. The thought of losing you makes me exhausted, exhausted trying to keep you around.
When I was 7 years old i had a teacher who told me the world will repay me someday for being so full of sunshine. That was my first thought when you held my hand for the first time, because you make my cheeks hurt with how much you make me smile. I didn't know if i wanted you to kiss me, until it did. When it did, i knew i didn't want it to stop. I've never wanted someone to press their palms up against my ribcage more than you, or kiss my neck and make me lose my breathe. I want to give you everything i love but i'm scared that when i do, it won't be the same. The innocence that I have with you is unlike anything, you're the first person who didn't need to take my shirt off to see my heart.. thank you so much. This is a ****** story, coming from a ****** person who can't get over her ****** feelings for you. But i decided on you, don't you get that? i decided on you. i don't want to go ******* other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad , or empty, or whatever. I like the taste of your lips, and i like the sound of your voice, and i ******* decided on you. you were the first person to make me feel like i didn't need to be perfect, it's been 5 ******* months and i still can't get you out of my ******* head.
you still are, you still are important
so i realized... i have bad news & i have good news, turns out both of them are that i love you.

-d.g. (And i'm sorry that you can't trust me to love you, but i would and i do. But i'm still sorry.)
814 girl
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814 girl
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