Oct 2014
I spent years
Climbing walls that
People built up against me,
Using the rocks I brought down to
Build my own.
Locked inside a cage
I panicked.
So I had to stop climbing.
I had to stop building.
I had to face the fact
That I got thrown off of her wall
Into my own
And mine tumbled to pieces
And she was gone before I could
See the damage I made.
Climbing walls that
People built up against me,
Using the rocks I brought down to
Build my own.
Locked inside a cage
I panicked.
So I had to stop climbing.
I had to stop building.
I had to face the fact
That I got thrown off of her wall
Into my own
And mine tumbled to pieces
And she was gone before I could
See the damage I made.
The old me would always
Try and help people
Who were hurting even
When they didn't want help.
But I've made myself sick
With worry about
Which of them won't show
Up at school one day
And I've cut myself
To stop the voices
Saying it's all my fault
They hate themselves.
I'm not good enough.
I can't say that anymore,
Because it isn't true.
I can't save those who don't want to be
Saved.
Especially when no one
Wanted to save me
And I'm still digging
My way out of my cell.
Try and help people
Who were hurting even
When they didn't want help.
But I've made myself sick
With worry about
Which of them won't show
Up at school one day
And I've cut myself
To stop the voices
Saying it's all my fault
They hate themselves.
I'm not good enough.
I can't say that anymore,
Because it isn't true.
I can't save those who don't want to be
Saved.
Especially when no one
Wanted to save me
And I'm still digging
My way out of my cell.
