I once had a boy
Who loved me so
much he had
memorized every
freckle I had on my body.
He loved me to the
point that when
our own demons wouldn't
let go of our heads
he went to a mental
facility because he
couldn't stand how
wrong things were without me.
He told me that.
I heard it straight from his mouth
and that boy is gone now.
Moved on and moved away.
And even though that was
so long ago i can't
help but wonder if
I will ever be loved like
that again.
Will someone ever want to
spend that much time
memorizing every freckle
every scar, every inch of skin
on my body.
My stomach collapses
on itself thinking about it
because something in me
doesn't think it'll happen
or that I even deserve it.
My stomach acid burns my
throat as i up heave my
emotions through my chest
and wonder if I will ever stop
being thrown out in the
garbage like a used
******.
Everyone says that
everyone deserves to be happy
and maybe deep down I
want to believe it but
something aches and whispers
bitter tasting words
into my head that say
no one will ever love you
longer than it takes
to reach ******.
I'm not looking for perfection.
I am damaged goods and i know
other people are damaged too.
I know some peoples heads
are like hurricanes
and I am aware that
no one is perfect and
yes, I know that I cannot
be perfect but I don't
need to be perfect.
I don't need someone perfect
either.
I want to love like that boy
once did.
I want to memorize someone and be
memorized back.
To me the sweetest type of love
is the kind when
you just waste time.
But you love every
second and you
want nothing more
than to sit and
admire the beautiful
thing you have
right in front of you.