I hate being angry,

At you, it makes me want to tear my eyes out and force them down your throat. If you ‘love’ me so much why do you reduce me to a pain that stretches across my chest as salt water crashes to the ground? You asked me why I was crying. I wanted to scream – it’s you! The way you half-heartedly avoided my worries as if to dismiss my heart from loving and to tear pieces from my skin and discard them with memories. You looked at me and turned away, I wanted to scream at you to give a ****. No, I wanted to scream at myself to give a ****.

Because in that moment you turned away, everything changed. As if my heartbeats rhythm became aligned with reality once more and my heart detached from you. Fading into insignificance, an imprint of loneliness in my hollow brain. The pictures of you etched behind my eyes were fading and with every tear drop, my love for you was drained into dry skin and tequila.

I wish I gave a ****.

But my stupid ****** friends looked upon me with more care than your weary eyes and no matter how many times you tell me you love me, why did you leave me alone that night?

‘I don’t know why I’m crying’ I replied.