A large part of me
wants to run off into the hills
and become a Buddhist monk.

Focus all of my energy and attention onto any fitting god
and get high off breathing exorcizes.
Maybe then all the lights and sound
from this derailed society of aging selfies
and narcissism
would stop screeching in my ear.

Then the other part of me feels obligated to integrate myself
and change it somehow.
Like it's my duty to confront
the entire dissociative body
of social-networking and media.

These are the conflicting ideas
which sixty-nine in my head all night
until it becomes an ouroboros-****
debate on how
to keep breathing.

I heard a guy tell me today at the bar that if he could live forever, he would. I have trouble with this concept given that every critical aspect of life seems fundamentally damaged to me. I'm not suicidal, I'm just having trouble seeing what this obnoxious ***** at the bar is seeing. Maybe I should order another beer? It's people like you that make me want to write.


-r0