Apparently,
I thump my thighs
missing a beat
left by my side
in the argument
of confusion...

Apparently,
I look the fool
aimlessly adrift
forlorn in my
abstract direction
looking for keys...

Apparently,
I’m not the boy
playing baseball
in back my house
the weakest one
doing his best
to succeed, not to fail...

Apparently,
I fantasize, still do at 52
‘bout being the best
standing straight
and *****
at five feet two
It’s always been...it always will...

Apparently,
my dormant tracks
came fool circle
with endless
Cheshire cat-like grins
pretending I’m in
but I’m not...

Apparently,
and eventually
the laughter subsides
and the hurt
hides inside
while the clown reappears
or the drum rat-a-tats
and the pain still remains...

Apparently,
I died a million times
I’ve sailed
the dreaded seas
near and far
upon the ship
taking one last trip...

Actually,
I’ve learned to cope
to deal with the disease
and live the life
and the hand
I’ve been dealt...