Alarm clock, I abhor you! I tell you to wake me up, and you wake me up. A real friend would let me sleep; would let me be! When you go off I set you to snooze, but when I get back up I'm fifteen minutes late for work. You should've told me I didn't have the time! Isn't that your job? The other night during the lightning storm you must've gone off. Because the next morning there was no alarm on your behalf! I know: I was supposed to reset you, right? And when you went off awhile back on the morning of my hangover I ripped you from the wall and threw you across the room. Your body buckled your screen shattered and now the radio just rambles static. You're too fragile! To hell with you, alarm clock-- you can't do anything right.