“I read a poem
the other day
about how
our liver
replaces itself
after 5 months,
our lungs
after 3 weeks
and our skin
after 27 days
I laughed
about how
absurd such
facts were
because it has been 7 months
and I can still feel
your presence in my body
your kisses on my hips
and your breath on my neck
and trust me
I tried to **** as many cells
as I could
after you left
to try to get you
the **** out of
my veins
I poisoned my liver
nearly every day
with cheap alcohol
and smoked so many cigarettes
I heard my lungs begging me
to stop the other night
and I let too many boys
undress me
and touch my skin
with their ***** ***** hands
simply because
I hoped their presence
would force your ghost
to get
out of my bed
out of my life
and out of my mind
but still
I can hear the echoes
of your footsteps
as you are running
in my brain
and it is driving
me insane
because when I was 7 years old
my father took me fishing
and made me promise
I’d never let anyone
get under my skin
yet here I am
13 years later
destroying myself
to try to forget
how you destroyed me
after telling me for a year
how much you loved me
and I can’t help but imagine
how horrified my father 
would be
to see his baby girl
killing herself slowly
but what he could not understand
is that if I drink too much
or smoke too much
it is only to stop your ghost
from growing and growing
like the cancer
that 
took
him
away