I wanted you to be welcomed, part of my flesh; I wanted you to be Him
But every single movement repulsed me
I imagined traveling in a bubble and moving up and up and up away…
And there you were, looking up, trying to save me.
Except I didn’t wanna be saved,
I wanted to escape my mistake,
Tell you I secretly hated you without making you hurt or cry,
But I am bad at these things,
I’m so rusty at loving someone,
And even more at pretending to.
So there I said it
Like a silent secret prayer in the middle of the night
Fist to my chest
Forgive me, for I have sinned (not really)
Except that this time, I made sure there was no penitence, just a quick good bye and a pack of cigarettes.