I stepped close to the edge

Smoked a cigarette

Close to the edge of no return

Close to the edge of having nothing left

Leaving behind all that I have known

Close to the line of

Don't step over it this time

Close to losing my way back

To the planting of the seed

To being the one in need

Sand in my hand the conviction that I lack

Closer to my finger on the trigger

Placing my mouth on the barrel of the gun

I'm not talking suicide

This is a metaphor for life

Closer to it all coming undone