Vulnerable blue veins lurking beneath pale skin. Longing, begging, pleading to be opened, to be spilled, Lies and heartache released, peace and silence gained. Deeper, farther, less afraid, one step closer From temporary release to eternal silence.
Trembling hands. Shallow breaths. Heartbeat. Thud. Thud. Thud Silence is so near, So simple, but so permanent.
Ready, but hesitant. Longing to go, but needing to stay. A constant internal war. Do it. I can’t Stop it. I won’t End it. no No! Never.
Exhale. Fear seeps through, slow at first, but then all at once. Realization creeps through. Horror dawns. Disgust arrives. Self hatred. but A glimmer of relief. Breath. Still here. Heart. Still beating. Thud. Thud. Thud. Still **Alive.