Today is not the same
I will never feel the same way
As I did yesterday
I find it so strange and so confusing
The way a warm breeze can change
The world around me
From wanting so badly to bury myself
Under the heaps of waste that our population
Has produced,
Wanting to drown in the lakes we’ve poisoned
With our machines and fuel for our machines
Wanting to suffocate in the smog and let the
Filth that we’ve created destroy me entirely
To wanting to stay a little while longer
Closing my eyes to feel the sweet air
Brush against my chemical-infused skin
Seeing the pure, untapped joy in children
(who I pray will grow up unscathed by us)
Are some of the few hopeful delicacies I have.

I’m not sure when I became bitter
But I wonder if I was really even happy before this
Or just ignorant. I wonder too,
If the moments like this, that make me want to
Fall to my knees and sob and sob because I feel so
******* lucky and so alive
So lucky to be alive and so stupid
For wanting to give it all away,
Are simply average, normal moments
That only stick out because I’ve began to notice
Reality. Hell on earth that I know I will
Never be able to change.