the trees fall down
and they have came and left so quickly
this nature of life
should I say goodbye so easily
when I feel like the hello has barely embraced my quivering lips
that quivered in your days
some powerless
some overwhelming with a feeling of conquer

should I forget you and move on
as time dosent wait for you or me
than why should I

is it done, and this new white page
it just sits in front of me
this blank book, of what is yet to come
within more bewildered days
of love, meeting, rememberence, conversation, wine and hope

I left my country
I left everyone in it
I casted myself away from destructive situations
one that lead back to that one boy
no not him
it was another one
that I casted myself from
the other was a simple breeze that I let rub my cheeks
and didnt think twice about its angry departure
I simply let the madness caress me
and then when it threatened me I left fruitfully
laughter lingering behind my back

I lived on different land
sang on different land
I delved into abstract minds and conversation on different land
I held hands on different land
I kissed on different land
and evidently I weeped and suffered on different land

I sat down watching them yell and scream in happiness
its a new chapter in the life of the universe, and me
I was on sand floating on less familiar waters
in my beautiful country

I went further into loneliness than most would dare
sat there in the mountains weekend after weekend
keeping myself company
it was then and there I realized more of me
got a better feel of what I was really like

I came back to find what I left
but this time things seemed prettier
the water tasted sweeter
life seemed heavier
and my soul it felt lighter
while I sunk in deeper
to you and you and you
and you who stuck out
you who patience struck like a vertical war blade
in parts of me I didnt know had life

patience, it fell on a rock that was harder than I thought
in the pit of my stomach
like hands gripping me tightly
I gripped onto you tightly
I held you there for as long as I could
till meaning came to my story
and I was able to decipher
that this wasnt like those novels I read when
I was a little girl
although I felt like I child
when your air would mingle with me
and your laugh would
make
my
hands
shake

--
little to none was the worst
in where drunken nights lead to drunken mornings
which lead to drunken fights
on drunken hearts
they beat differently

and now
now I think differently
and its a new year