I could lock myself in my room. Surrounded by my belongings, By the mirrors that have seen my secrets. I could cry and bleed for days without anyone asking why. I could drink and smoke without suffering the consequences. One lock to one room shielding me from the outside world. Shielding me from the invisible flames of everyday life. I could walk on my self-made clouds of smoke, Streaming through my lungs and out of my mouth. Filling my head with OK thoughts followed by whiskey, Drowning her sorrows, They say with an attitude. Finding a place between realities standards and being ****** up. I reply. Attention *****. Pain ******. Stoner. Happiness-seeker. Drama queen. Depressed. Sad. Suicidal. Dead.