I miss the simplicity of a shared blanket, the intimacy of a shared pillow. Moments of pure connection passed in dreams punctuated by waking, seeing you there and once again holding you close, but never close enough. I miss your touch, the sound of your voice, the sight of your words. I miss so many things about you its hard to explain that you're still here. Not metaphorically but actually. Is this how it ends? Is this how we know its not going to work anymore? Two people inches apart but a thousand miles away from each other? I used to be able to tell the very moment you fell asleep, we were that in tune with one another. Now I don't even know what time you wake up. Before, before every change in your breathing would be enough to wake me. Not wake me to the point of consciousness but enough that I would be aware if it stayed changed or went back to normal. Normal. That's something that seems a long way off now. I don't know if we'll ever see normal again and sometimes, just sometimes I'm not even sure I want to. But then other times I feel like I would give anything to go back to normal, back to normal with you. Normal. Maybe for me, this is normal? Who the **** knows anymore? I'm just so tired.