Forgive me, little brother,
I have failed you.
I have tried to be the fiery love,
and passionate memory of your time spent here,
in this God-forsaken place.
And in your father's eyes,
I have failed.
You are the best friend I prayed for,
and now you depart with a piece of my life.
I will greet you as a stranger,
and I will seem like a funny and desperate fan
of your amazing talents.
I will miss you and I will cherish you,
with every tear I cry today,
I will remember to always wait for you.
In your troubles, I hope you'll run back to me.
I want to be able to say, "Hello, again. I've missed you so!"
Be as far as you must, dear friend,
be as broken and forsaken as you must,
but I will hurt everyday till you return.
And if you don't,
well, God only knows if at all I belong with him,
and if I do, we will once again greet each other in a better place.
In defending my brother, I have estranged him and hurt him so much more than I can imagine. I wish we were okay, but we're not. It's my birthday today and he won't even say anything to me. I cannot fall asleep not knowing if we're going to be okay.