i have tried an infinite amount.
Put in effort.
and effort
and effort
and effort.
acting like it wasn't engraved on the inside of my eyelids,
like it wasn't the only thing that mattered:
that will ever matter.
like it was the only thing that made sense:
it is the only thing that makes sense.
It's been eleven months
and I can still go back to that moment
and pull out that floppy disk- knowing that every drop of blood or salty tear had been rightfully shed so I could live until that moment.
the moment I met you.
I felt what people search their whole lives to feel.
A look in their eyes that shuts down your brain and all that matters is their pattern of freckles and the ingrown hair of their eyebrows and the pools of their rich brown eyes.
No  P A S T
No  F U T U R E
Just A L I V E
Just  L I V I N G

So why are you so afraid?
You are aware if the short period of time we have on the earth?
You are so focused on your job of portraying others that you have such a limited grasp on yourself.

Just give me an hour.
Let me know you.
Let me discover you.

You can push out this fate all you want.
Ignoring it and shutting it down with excessive monologues and broken treble clefts but keep in mind, my star:

fate is the one show where the curtain doesn't close when the lights go dark.