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Apr 2014
I used to love Mondays. The day had been monotonous and colorless as ever until I could collapse onto your bed and into your arms. Now I'm just like everyone else- I don't look forward to Mondays.

Today I came home and took a 5 1/2 hour nap so I didn't have to spend another afternoon crippled on the floor. Staring at the ceiling. Feeling the hole in my chest like a gun shot victim.

I can feel myself becoming a puddle composed of the empty words that spill from my mouth and drip into my shoes. I miss you.

We developed an obsession with horror films. Maybe watching demons on the screen made us feel a little better about the demons living inside of us.

Fridays are all the same now. The absence of you is everywhere I look. I texted you. I asked you not to disappear. I wish you understood what I meant. Knowing me, I'll probably call you after there's more alcohol in my veins than blood. I don't think you would pick up.

I don't want to go anywhere in case I see you. Your friend asked me how I was doing. I said I was trying my hardest to leave and heal and move on. They said I should find someone new. ****. You're everything I hate and you're everything I need.

We had *** for the first time on a Sunday afternoon in March.
It was raining. Sometimes I feel like it still is. I know that the remains of who I was before I met you are still inside me somewhere. Maybe next week I'll find them.
Written by
Lux  Nevada City
(Nevada City)   
   ---, Ingenue, Jade Elon and ---
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