The saddest day of my life was the day you told me you weren't going anywhere.

I often live in those moments of smeared eyeliner and shaking hands
lost beyond all belief
and found in the crevices of your warming knuckles.
If you ever wonder why
I was crying so hard into your neck

think about the thoughts that tell stories
think about how I couldn't tell where your body ended and my began
think about this
unconditioning
that had to be known
that had to be hush.

All the times i told you "more" ran through my mind
as i was fixing the tufts in your hair.
You told me I was beautiful with mascara washing down my cheeks
bare with this envy
for the passenger seat in your sedan.

And as the words left your lips
my hand clasped mine
to prevent me from revealing
you're the definition.

The saddest day of my life was the day you told me you weren't going anywhere
because I always knew you would.