Mar 2014
Once upon a time, in a place called Venustus
a raw newb caught my eye
I wonder what it was about her
that made me want to try
The quiet one
kneeling on the rug
playing with her Pegs
quite unlike the others
less submissive,
yet somehow more so
in ways that I couldn't see at the time
She chides me for my lack of attention
shouldn't it be the other way round?
should she not be the one attending to me?
yet somehow I can't make that demand
can't bring myself to issue the command
can't take the risk she'll call my bluff
begin to realise I can't get enough
I begin to doubt my Dominance
as we get closer there's something else
Incredible as it seems,
I feel her body close to mine
her warmth come through
and then she asks
"do you feel it too?"
And I do feel it
I feel you beside me, within me
I feel that for us
it has always been this way
that I've always known you
and you feel that way too
Then everything became simple
and yet more complicated
Now I had no choice
but to face myself
to admit the thing I'd tried to hide
because love demands honesty
to be honest with you
I had to be honest with me
Even though I had no doubt
still I needed space to work it out
a week or two should be enough
the next three months were really tough
Cynthia Pauline Jones, March 2013
a raw newb caught my eye
I wonder what it was about her
that made me want to try
The quiet one
kneeling on the rug
playing with her Pegs
quite unlike the others
less submissive,
yet somehow more so
in ways that I couldn't see at the time
She chides me for my lack of attention
shouldn't it be the other way round?
should she not be the one attending to me?
yet somehow I can't make that demand
can't bring myself to issue the command
can't take the risk she'll call my bluff
begin to realise I can't get enough
I begin to doubt my Dominance
as we get closer there's something else
Incredible as it seems,
I feel her body close to mine
her warmth come through
and then she asks
"do you feel it too?"
And I do feel it
I feel you beside me, within me
I feel that for us
it has always been this way
that I've always known you
and you feel that way too
Then everything became simple
and yet more complicated
Now I had no choice
but to face myself
to admit the thing I'd tried to hide
because love demands honesty
to be honest with you
I had to be honest with me
Even though I had no doubt
still I needed space to work it out
a week or two should be enough
the next three months were really tough
Cynthia Pauline Jones, March 2013
This poem is the first part in my 'After Midnight Suite'. It deals with the period from my first meeting, in early 2009, in a virtual world, with the person who would become my Muse, my inspiration, my spur to make significant changes in my life; to the point about a year later, when I took a period of absence from that virtual environment and the growing relationship, in order to mentally prepare myself for the changes I had realised I needed to make... this was the first part written, many months before the date shown (which is the completion date for the suite as a whole).
