a helicopter flies above my neighbourhood at 7 in the morning
I'm awake
whether it is because the sound slapped my snooze
or because I hadn't yet fallen asleep
my autopilot doesn't choose to be annoyed
I let apathy trickle down my throat and settle in my gut, it freezes
chill to my forehead
and my heart stops being so soft
perhaps
I forgot
birds eat worms and I am a good liar
I take naps while my roommates eat their dinner
and that pulling my curtains shut to neglect the sun
is not the same thing as Schrodinger's Cat
- I think I'd like to be a werewolf
so the full moon could strip my hesitancies and my horrors
letting out a shrill holler, on all fours, barefoot in the soil
I'd just like to let go
just
let it all
go
to be forced instead of contemplation
to be loose instead of stagnation
it is kind of like when your whole heart begs to be seen
but is paralyzed by limelight
I want letting go to be easy
I don't want to work this hard for it.