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Mar 2014
please tell me something
am i true?
do you see me and understand that
i a m r e a l
i can only see your face
but whose?
OFF MY CHEST
off my soul

tell me how you want me
make me understand what lies behind that sanguine smile

i want to understand where the content of my soul lies
am i content? honorable? confused?

the way you touch my ******* contests
with the way you tell me
you're my world
what's a world?
what's a truth?
whats the way to tell you how i feel about you?

this isn’t a poem
just a rambling of rhymes by a drunk girl
veins full of whiskey and a home that hurts
i want you to hold me
why wont you understand?

this makes sense
i want you to understand that you are to me and
we are a pretense
please
hold me
tell me that the creation of the sight and
the movement between our eyes is true

i forget that i'm pretty
does my face create need in you?


i miss you
it always explodes
like a hope.


i want to take a nap and fall asleep to you the sound of your heartbeat
do you think of me?
in the night?
when you can't understand your feelings but you know its right?

this brand of  anger boiling inside my bones
makes me lash out because i feel
wronged
by what he did

took my innocence like a twig and snapped it in the wind

i'm sorry
i just want to be something to be proud of

TELL ME I'M WORTH SOMETHING MORE THE WORDS HE IMPRINTED ON MY LIPS

if everyone knew
the things i've done, the mistakes and
places and the ways i've lost my pride and grace for the sake of
sanity



help me please
words i despise but cant help but bleed
one more moment
maybe i'll become something i can stand
but good luck
even the drunk can't recreate again



i guess that's what i thought about him too
“too good to hurt me, that’s why i love him’
GOD WAS I WRONG
HE RUINED MY DEFINITION OF TRUTH
AND WHAT I THOUGHT I KNEW ABOUT
EVERY FACET OF MY SOUL
MY EXISTENCE
WHAT THREATENS TO BREAK AS IT QUIVERS AGAINST THE WIND
WHERE IS MY SAFETY


i’m still drunk
it's because my little girl body is small
the illness makes me weak
and the drugs make me not eat
i drink because it makes the rush of
my thoughts okay

and i can hang over that porcelain without regret


so i hide
in the end
december ninth, 2013.
lady lazarus
Written by
lady lazarus  23/near the sea
(23/near the sea)   
559
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