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Mar 2014
Oddly enough...

My desires and wants change daily..
A few seem repetitive and or i guess in more of a clear want.
I desire much.
Its interesting to me.
Because most of the things i desire i wonder if they will truly give me happiness, or partial happiness...
I am an appreciative soul.
I dont abuse what i have.
So i dont believe i will lose love or faith in my newly found gifts.
I do however think my newly found gifts will fall short to endless gifts from God...
What im trying to get at is..
I can name things i want off of the top of my head...
Most of these things will provide pleasurable experiences.. but one thing can change all of that pleasure...
For example..
I would like to finish my living room, and or change into a comfier lifestyle.
I would like a sectional couch.. extremely comfortable
A plush blanket
An ottoman for my guests..
A table by the door..
A bookcase...
Tv and mount in my bedroom...
New shades
A spice rack
A grill for my backyard...
Thats just the house.....

So i sit and i think. Okay Alexa... yes these things are wonderful, and by god, you do deserve them...

But what if you get a call in august that the church has invited you for a full expenses paid trip to help people in Jerusalem... and that you will be compensated for your stay...
Or your cousin Amy invites you to stay with her in Australia.. and you live there on a work visa.. and help the community in your spare time...

Is a spice rack still important?

I guess im in quite the transition here...

Its feeling of do i just want these things to want them...

Or  is it because i know in my heart that i will be receiving them, and they just happened to become obsessed thoughts...

In retrospect, ive always received everything i desired.

They usually came faster when i stopped moping around asking for them...

one by one everything would fall to me..

I guess im just aware of the process...

Im very present lately.
Im seeking a stronger connection with faith and god at this point in my life.. and over the course of the next few weeks, i believe my connection with god, Jesus, and spirit will be so much stronger...

I do believe everything will fall into place.

New Job.
New Car.
New lifestyle...

Just a brand new me...

Things take time. I some how remain on a scaled level of thinking. Like i need this next week.. and if i dont have it next week..

then im never going to get it...

Now that ive expressed this...

im seeing things differently...

like...

If i make it clear that i want these things... then they are mine already in due time...

Because i can have a couch, and all of those things and still travel across the world..
why not!.
Im allowed that luxury...
Im allowed the luxury of having beauty..
A passport
A camera
A surfboard
A guitar..
A comfy home that holds my energy...
A new car that can take my anywhere i wanna go.
A job that gives me supreme peace of mind, and abundance....

I dont know Gods plan...

I just know that i have to trust him, that he will take care of me...

My ideas are..
To work at a peaceful job.. go to school at night...
Surf and Take pictures, and play the guitar in my spare time.
Hang out with friends, meet new friends...
go to church
maybe become a youth leader
Exercise Daily...
Have a beautiful, healthy, and inspiring relationship
fun and exciting moments.
travel.
roadtrips.
enjoying being my free spirit self
building myself
remaining focused
calm
and centered.
inspiring
****
i would love new tattoos
i would love to just become ME...
not hold back...
i feel like i break out of my cycle every day.
Always something different.
Alexa Oliveira
Written by
Alexa Oliveira  Finland
(Finland)   
474
 
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