Anytime I make progress I just a quickly fall back to the place I was before. Someone once told me, if you were deciding on if you should keep someone in your life or not, weigh the decisions. Do they make your life better or worse? Deciding you made my life worse, I would just kick you out of it. Until I realized it was me, me who was making my life worse. One can't kick themselves out of their own life, but they sure as hell can try. Maybe if they were to cut deep enough cry hard enough scream loud enough their body will abandon them taking advice on leaving things when they make your life worse.