We're all in the business of denying our faults and justifying out sins.
Ignorance is bliss and I fear that I am ignorant, somehow missing out on the bliss.
What a pathetic way to be.
I'll never admit we may be wrong for each other, and I want to justify my dishonesty along with severing out the pits of my stomach. Maybe that will keep the nausea away. I'm awfully confused and I fear it won't get any better,
I'm feeling more hopeless and even more bitter
I often feel terrified even to move,
As I sit shaking in a ball praying to improve.

But it seems my life is built on empty prayers
Begging for things to get better, but knowing deep down that I'm doomed
I know I've forgotten how to pray, as if I was ever taught how to properly.
I was accidentally taught how to hate, instead of how to love.
If god wanted to help me, he would've by now.
WHERE ARE YOU IM TRYING TO PRAY?!

I'm not depressed, I'm just a teenager
I'm not sad, this is just human nature
I'm not depressed, I'm just selfish
I'm not suicidal, death is merely a wish
I'm not depressed, I'm just weak
I'm not self-loathing, I just need some critiques

But what do you do when your own family makes you want to die?
And you deny your depression until it eats you alive?
Struggling to get out screaming, "cry, cry, I want you to die!"
I really shouldn't be crying right now, it's so inappropriate
"Stop crying Anna, you're so immature! When are you going to grow up?"
**** I DONT KNOW
I thought maybe if I screamed then you would finally hear me
I thought you might feel the teeth gnawing inside
These bones, these veins
Ripping my heart and destroying my brain
But of course you didn't, I've done this since I was five

I'm a hurricane of paranoia and anger
A storm that needs to be calmed before demolishing everything it comes in contact with
So implant a grenade in my cerebrum
Splatter paint your walls with it
Cut me down the middle and sever out my liver
Sink me down into the river