Who gives a ****
If I live or die?
I have become the one forgotten
And I have fallen into some peculiar space
Now no one remembers the girl who once stood
In my place
She is changed, she has become something unexpected and unforgiving.
Is there a reason to believe in myself anymore?

I have been deemed, by many,
Unlovable.
Perhaps the worst damnation of all
Has come from my inner self.

But how does the rest of the world see me?
My views have been clouded over the years
By some unwarranted opinions
Of hypocrites and bigots
Bullies and ex-boyfriends
Daddy.

Calling me names to this day
Even after some bouts of depression
Cutting
Eating disorders
Even a suicide attempt.

Although these are all in the past
I still fail to hold myself in high regard.
Did they make me hate myself?
No, but they had a weighted hand in its development.

So who could love a creature like me?
A person, or rather, a shell of one,
Plagued by habit
Submerged in guilt

Crippled by a question that has never ceased.
Does being forced into a protective armor,
Being ridiculed
Being unloved
Make someone truly
Unlovable?