If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive, I hope you know at least that and even though you chose ashes over my last lit cigarette I will stand by you fearlessly. Someday when you get married and you remember me enough to send me an invitation when the priest calmly asks "Speak now or forever hold your peace" I will rise, look you dead in the eye and begin to cry, I'll walk over to the middle of the aisle and place a letter down on the floor  labeled with your name inside of it, it will say "I'm sorry that I love you, I'm sorry for having been a burden and wanting to share Friday evenings alone in your car, I'm sorry I'm more complicated than you signed up for, you may be happier but I wonder how it makes you feel knowing you're the reason I am alive, You're the boy who saw me when I was invisible and called me beautiful after the end of our better three months and I will never not think of you and smile, You will always be the first boy I ever loved even if the feeling is not mutual....I hope the sound of my name makes you light up from time to time, I hope you flashback to our first night and our last, I hope you remember looking at the moon and thinking of me, I hope you remember those moments we had in the grass, we were so young then. I hope you know I will always love you...."

*vm