When I look at myself
all I can see is
*******
arrogant
*****
I learned this from you

I taught you that nothing you ever did was good enough
not for you
or anyone else
You would never be enough

I take the words right out of your poem
Because they speak truth
I look back at what I did
with constant shame
That I could be so hateful toward someone that I cared about

I hope you don't think that what I taught you
is what love is
To **** someone completely dry
of everything they have
Until one has power over the other

I hope you know love is beautiful
and not something that you should fear
That it's to be wrapped in compassion and loving arms
Not pointing fingers and accusations

I'm sorry that you remember my anger
My ridiculous pleading for you to follow
impossible commands
I'm sorry that you remember my words
Those words were horrible
I always wish that I could change that

You are right, you owe me nothing
But I owe you something
I owe you an apology for everything I've done
For all the lies
For all the humiliation
For all the hateful words
And for all the times that I made you question your self worth

My only hope is that you can forgive me
but you have no reasons to because I can't even forgive myself
Sometimes it's so bad that I can't sleep
I've often thought about contacting you
and apologizing before but I heard you don't want to see me
So I try to keep it that way

I'm sorry you had to teach yourself to love who you are
You shouldn't have needed to do that
I'm glad you were strong enough to reassemble the pieces
I don't know if I could do that if someone did that to me

I also want to let you know something
That you were right about a lot of things
And that our current state is completely my fault
And to also thank you for trying to be my friend
Because I wouldn't have wanted to be my friend

Finally I want to let you know this
That you are completely right
You are beautiful
You are loveable
And you are worth a lot more of something than I'll ever be
No one will ever change that