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Jan 2014
What is this?
I am restless
I don’t know why
But, I feel no interest
Just force a smile upon

What is this?
I see no color
But, I am not blind
Oh, I see, the world is black
No love, no affection

What is this?
This emptiness I never felt before, or
I did but chose to ignore
And live a life of mere glass that can shatter
Shatter at the slightest touch

What is this?
I am breathless
As if someone is following me
Or is it that I want to catch someone
How do people smile so easily?
Live so freely
Will ‘they’ answer me?
If I ask
The reason for life to be bestowed upon us

What is this?
I feel alone, separated, anxious
I am scared
I want to live
No perhaps I don’t
No matter where I search
Whom I ask
They give no reply

What is this?
I am eager
I want someone to share my feelings with
I searched here and there
Tried to open up to many
But ended up hurt

What is this?
Ah! I see, perhaps end
Searching for someone I came across this question
Why is life bestowed upon us?
I am alone
I want someone
I call out will all my might
But no one listens
I am tired
I will just live like others

What is this?
In the end I give up
That someone I want to share my feelings, myself with
Is no where
Oh! I give up
I am really afraid
I am as if bond by invisible chains of
Of what
Hatred, love, anger?
No perhaps emptiness

What is this?
I am alone
In this darkness days pass
But no one comes
Please come
I want to open up
I can no longer live alone
Why is life in the first place?
I don’t want jealousy to devourer me
Please I am alone

What is this?
I feel attracted to someone or
Perhaps I am forcing myself to be attracted
Wanting to live on imaginary lies
All are lies
This life is itself
Having no reason to exist
Is there an afterlife
A happy one
Where I can find someone to open up
If there is I wish to die
Oh! God forgive me
But I can no longer
Handle these injuries, pain, and suffering
Not anymore
I am gradually giving up
On the believe on the very existence of happiness
Please, if my angel exists let my voice
My hearts reaches you and find me
Before I am devoured by this darkness

I give up on this life of mine
Writam Allan Ray
Written by
Writam Allan Ray  Calcutta
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