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Jan 2014
its easier to describe my feelings inside..
deprived.
no air to breathe out to the trees
i feel weak in my knees.
ive been on a roller coaster ride...
scared of letting go of pride...
scared of being FREE...
the ultimate idea of faith..
allowing the lord and life to take care of you...
no worries or anxiousness..
knowing you didnt choose this...
but higher power approved it...
so is it better to sit here and observe?
or is it better to sit here and release...
my boyfriend is worried that we are breaking up...
my main concern is he ready to WAKE UP...
because im shifting.
im becoming stronger. im learning to let go.
im learning to be free and see myself as me.
im shedding layers built on lies...
im asking god to back me up as i try...
as i try to LET GO....
i know he has a plan for me...
and i know being sick, and scared is not in his plans...
so i no longer care to resist....
my thoughts have controlled me for too long..
and now i wish to control them...
whatever grip on "normal" is not normal..
its the idea of being like everyone else..
just to say you are everyone else...
but what if i just want to be alexa....
what if i just want to dance, and laugh, and see the world...
its colors, its food, its people....
their laughter, their likes and dislikes....
their is more to see... and the secret is their is no secret...
its called being free..
release me....
Alexa Oliveira
Written by
Alexa Oliveira  Finland
(Finland)   
595
 
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