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Dec 2013
Your body as a fleet of ships
Your words are every harbour i have found solace in
Sometimes i feel like the secrets you tried to tuck under pelican wings
Sometimes i feel like the burnt-out bulb in the lighthouse that you easily replaced
I've turned into a beacon for sailboats that ferry the dead, with a heart trailing behind every vessel
Every red light is a warning sign and the skeletons of dead sailors are standing on the bows, waving their arms
They appear to be screaming, desperate for someone to hear them, but the only sound that comes out is that of dangling chains
You can hear the moaning of drowned souls and you're wondering how long it will be until you join them
The dissonant waves turn into hands that pull on you like fingers doing a glissando down your heartstrings
Suddenly you're sinking and every breath costs you a life you didn't know you had but it's gone and you can't get it back
As you're pulled under you watch the light at the surface ripple and fade in the same way your soul crawled out of your skin
You're crawling on the floorboards of the ship and the nails are digging into your kneecaps and it reminds you of her
Your body is covered in splinters and when you pull them out it feels the same as her lips every time they left your skin
You're starting to get seasick but just as you lean over the railings her name falls off your lips
It drops like an anchor, and all of your inner demons rise from the sea and begin to climb the rope dangling from your teeth
You're choking on the past and every effort to shove your finger down your throat and expel it fails
Every bad memory fills your stomach and it feels like swallowing pieces of bait still tangled up with their hooks
You can feel them pulling at your stomach like every promise she never fulfilled, still threatening to destroy you
Your insides shred and tear like the sails and instead of air spilling through it's everything you've tried to keep from her
Suddenly the nose of the boat is diving into the sea and you're regretting ever thinking you were invincible
As the swells rock the ship you try to root your feet in front of the helm but your knees start to crack like porcelain
You're no longer able to swim, you're slowly turning to glass and your hands aren't working, yet you're still reaching for hers
When your fingertips finally touch, your entire body shatters to pieces
Your heart is left pierced and bleeding on the ravaged deck
You're no longer tethered to anything, flopping around aimlessly, you no longer have a purpose
You see your reflection next to hers in the water and it's convinced you that death at sea is more beautiful than you'd thought
Written by
   Jessi S and Catrina Sparrow
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