I truly have
a love...hate...
relationship

between
believing...
what I know
and...
knowing
what I believe...

Symbiotic...
and toxic...
It's a detailed.
enigma...

My curse...
My passion...
an ever present pull...
with stubborn intent
often directly opposed
To the path
which I am on...

When I was much younger
I developed a systemic
and purposeful mission
to design the person
I was to become

I had carefully weighed...
tested and mapped out
my "edges"
finally setteling on
habits, personalities
and a type of lifestyle...
this allows me
a precarious balance...
between honor, appearances
and fair exchange ..
friendship, acceptance and fun...

Something rare
during my colorful  
and...
then recent
childhood...

Like I said...
young...
and well...

Once I found my path...
I stubbornly believed...
That no others...
existed...for me

Really young...
...hee hee hee

As we all know...
life happens ...

...and I rolled
and flowed...
and always seed to manage

But I didn't bloom...
I just became really good
at being me.

Just missing...
a really good second...
again
waiting...to become...