I'm afraid of what I am
I'm ashamed
because I had a mother
who kept telling me ''You're not good enough''
until at a certain age, I agreed with her
because I had a father
who had a fist that kept repeating ''I wish you were never born''
until at a certain age, I started viewing things as if I were never born
Quickly I learned that the rotation could only be slowed,
but never broken;
I noticed how the people were still laughing,
they were still going to school, to their jobs
- as if I was never there at all.
I believed the world would be a better place if I were gone.
At that point in my life,
I stopped talking. I stopped eating. I stopped believing in everything I ever stood for.
I even stopped crying.
I felt still and empty, like some diseased tree
The life inside of me had wilted
I couldn't move, I couldn't ask for any help,
all I could do was just stand there-
In the middle of that forest
Waiting for it to finally be over