I like you in the backseat of the car.

The first time
I took long (stabilising) breaths
because you were so close
that I could taste your aftershave
in the
            limited
                          amounts
                                            of
                                                  air.

I could only focus on your close proximity
and I bit my lips to stop myself from smiling
stop...
pretend to enjoy the scenery

even though your face
is a perfect landscape
that not even Monet
could create.

I fell asleep in the backseat
that night
The driver guided by the
headlights
street lights
moonlight

but I was guided by you
as you put your head on my shoulder first
saying it was okay
no-one knows us here
in the confined space

except the pair of eyes occasionally
flickering to me and you
through the rear view
mirror.

I haven't been able to close my eyes
and sleep next to someone
for so long
because I'm still a little afraid
of the dark

and even more afraid of the darkness
in my own mind
but the possibility of nightmares
jumps the gun on them all
and scares me to death.

But you got me to sleep
peacefully
and let me stay there
even though I murdered your arm
with my head

like I nearly did once to my own body

you
held my head to your shoulder
pulled me a little closer
as we went over the speed bumps
as if you wanted me have me one less disruption in my life
even if it was only for a moment.

I begged time to slow down
let me stay here
let
       the
              tick
                      tock
                               stop

because maybe if the clock hands
stop moving
my hands can move
onto yours
our fingers will become as intertwined
as our complementary minds.

Now,
my head is on the pillow
but it's not as comfortable as your shoulder
nor is it as warm as your arms

because I like you in the backseat of the car.
do you like me in the backseat too?

(i like you in the backseat of the car.
do you like me in the backseat too?)