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Dec 2013
I'm sorry
I lost myself
in all of my sorrows
I forgot who I was
I forgot what I stood for
I forgot why people liked being around me
I forgot how it feels to feel happy with myself
I forgot how it feels to be able to look in the mirror
Without shedding tears that could produce an ocean
I forgot what I promised myself
I forgot what it felt like to exist
I forgot what it felt like to be cared for
I forgot what it felt like to feed off of true love
not the love in intimate relationships
but the love of my family and friends
I became so focused on artificial love
I was addicted to it
But every time I loved
They'd tell me I wasn't enough
pretty enough
**** enough
serious enough
confident enough
One boy even told me I should never feel love
because I don't deserve it
Another told me that I was an item
And the one after that told me he loved me
He made me feel like I was finally worth something
But then, he just left
and I promise all of you
that when I do something wrong
or when I'm telling a story of a fight or a breakup
I list the things that I did wrong as well
I'm never biased with my side of the story
But when I tell you
I did nothing but try
and love
I mean it
I was just being myself
and I guess that's where I went wrong
And I've heard all the advice before
"You need to learn to be independent"
"You need to stop falling so fast"
"You need to stop giving yourself up"
I know all of these things, I really do
But I don't think they understand how hard it is
to walk with broken legs
to breathe in polluted air
to exist without a purpose
to love but never be worth it
Agnis Lynota
Written by
Agnis Lynota  24/F/Out of the Box
(24/F/Out of the Box)   
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