quandering, pondering and whiskey has become first and only desk liquor. now digressing to the Blue Eyed beauty writ of this the final page of notebook. and now, reflecting on this early hour. an hour when the goat's head stares thru to soul with always lifeless eyes. stares thru this soul with lack of energy, with entire days' lack of consumption. and with ease this one has been long and gone in falsified attraction of angelfaced Blue Eyed matriarch; this one patriarch. thought entirely conceived. contrac- epted by reality of situation. by reality in general sense, yet words spew unfiltered with lingering hope behind slanted smile. shying stares, all the while watching from eyes' corners. voices of all but her's fall deaf; vessels otherwise mute to concerns not of the Blue Eye's. and here this one finds self lost to rom- anticized thoughts knowing they can be found sterilized via logic. contradicting always, yet no brass holding finger locked to joint. and realizations of actual place spears forehead; spears fore- brain. disrupting what is preconceived concerning entangled souls. hair falling aside temples. point of restraint, this one must end before depression catches hold; this one calling abrupt ending.