This time of year seems to take us down the rabbit hole of the past.
Wanting and needing to believe that the future holds those rainbows with pots of gold in the upcoming year.
Reflecting back on a past full of holes I use to feel that brokenness like it was yesterday, who am I kidding more like today.
Use too, being the key. You see, I own my part of the pain in a new way. I see the destruction of my marriage and my part, the moments stolen in a sense from my family because I was living in our sycosis. A false sense of love that fed that starved beast inside.
The lonely place that was a facade. Actually all we needed, wanted and desired was right there in front of us but we spoke a victims language that no one understood. Losing all of who we worked so hard to be, the actual us in the world and not the us floating on stars in the night sky.
Feeling so alive on the dark side of the moon caused my inner death.
As I mentioned reflecting on those moments I place my true love there. To heal. Not you anymore but the me that was so lost in the shadows of need. Now, my sacred space for love encompasses a love for all things, spaces, and filled up voids. It removes regret to
hold that space with forgiveness and the purest form of love.
The layers of a complex young girl, seeking the woman inside is fulfilled now.
You see, I own the sun, moon and stars now. They live in my daily life where divine dreams collide with the magnificent love I have for me...
Quirky, whole, funny, crazy, giving, loving, and kind. That's not just Lily it's Tracey. I love them both.
The future is mine, defined by me. In all ways, all days.
Blessings be...