a deep slow panic

i’ve been here

for days,

a constant

state of panic

that keeps me

awake

and my nerves

frayed.

unable to fall

asleep,

my body can

no longer take

it—

until

i crash under

the weight,

running for

cover, scared of

slumber

where my thoughts

plague me,

and force me

to surrender—

a bleak surrender,

where the future’s

bleaker

and i’m too weak

to see

the other side.

they say

with thunder comes

the rain,

but the rain

can’t wash

these thoughts away.

i’m on autopilot,

baby, and i can’t

feel a thing.

i’ve been here

for days,

a constant state

of panic

that keeps me awake,

that i keep

trying to pinpoint,

ascertain—

why i’m in

a constant

state of flight

or fight

when i just want

one simple,

peaceful night.

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